


But then there was you ...

by SparkyCasper



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Coming Out, Coming of Age, Falling In Love, First Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hints at depression and suicide, M/M, Self-Discovery, Slice of Life, high school life, learning to fall in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23053876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparkyCasper/pseuds/SparkyCasper
Summary: (Previously known as For as long as Oikawa knew).Oikawa and Iwaizumi had been friends almost their whole lives. They’d always been neighbours, their mums were friends and both had gone to the same elementary school, then middle and finally high school. They fell in love with volleyball together. They were inseparable, and Oikawa had always planned on it staying that way.However with entrance exams, new friendships and feelings developing, plans don't always seem to work out.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 8
Kudos: 103





	1. An Eskimo Promise

For as long as Oikawa could remember, Iwaizumi had always been around. He remembered his 5th birthday party, Iwaizumi crying after falling over and Oikawa holding him while he cried.

They’d always lived in the same houses, as neighbours, their mums were friends and at one point their dads were too. Both had gone to the same elementary school, then middle and finally high school. They fell in love with volleyball together. Basically, they were inseparable, and Oikawa planned on it staying that way. Always.

*-*-*

Oikawa stood facing his bedroom mirror, seventeen years old and already 6 ft tall. He was fiddling with his hair, delicately placing a few strands in the exact place they needed to be when a rock was thrown at his window. Barely hearing the small tap over his music playing, he bounced over to peer through the curtains. Iwaizumi stood clutching an open umbrella, rain dripping off it peacefully, staring daggers up in the direction of Oikawa’s window. The slightly taller man winced and reclosed his curtains. He turned to look at his bedside clock and realised he was already 10 minutes late for meeting Iwaizumi to leave for school. Yikes, he was going to be in trouble.

Quickly, he turned his radio off, grabbed his half-packed school bag and ran downstairs. There was a scrawled note on his kitchen side, which he ignored, and opened the fridge to grab his pre prepared lunch. It was gone, great. Scrounging off Iwaizumi for lunch would have to do today.

As soon as he was out the door, umbrella in the air, Iwaizumi started walking. Oikawa ran to fall in step beside his friend, letting a loud sigh out.

“Sorry to keep you Iwaaaaa-chan! What a morning.” He glanced over at Iwaizumi, who didn’t take his eyes off the path in front of him. “Plussss, I was watching the news and there was this terrible accident in the city, did you see it? Apparently, the bridge collapsed and like, loads of people died.” He glanced again, still nothing. The silence was killing him. “Ahhhhh, Iwa-chan not the silent treatment pweaseee!” Iwaizumi stopped walking. He didn’t turn to face Oikawa, but his face was glowing red….in anger? Frustration? Oikawa wasn’t sure.

“If you can’t be on time, I will leave without you from now on – got it?” He still didn’t look at Oikawa whose hair stood up on its ends. Iwaizumi was really annoyed; Oikawa could sense it.

“Okay – won’t be late again!” He left it at that, didn’t push his friend further. Iwaizumi inhaled deeply then continued to walk, Oikawa falling in step beside him again.

*-*-*

The day was long and boring, like usual. Oikawa zoned out in Maths, watching the rain patter against the window while he doodled in his notebook. In Geography he poked Iwaizumi in the back with his pencil, whispering to him about new moves he wanted to use in training that evening. Iwaizumi was not impressed, more than usual. Oikawa could tell this morning had really annoyed him, but It wasn’t until they were changing after practice that Oikawa decided his friend needed to get over it and be normal again.

“Iwaaa-chan come on, you’ve been grumpy all day long. Can you please joke with me like normal now? I was only TENNNN minutes late.” He thought exaggerating the ten would make Iwaizumi laugh, but in truth it did the exact opposite. Iwaizumi’s face hardened and he turned his gaze slowly upon Oikawa, who visibly shuddered.

“Can you get your head out of your arse for one second to realise that not everything is about you!” If looks could kill Oikawa would be 10 feet under. He opened his mouth to say something but didn’t get a chance before Iwaizumi stormed out of the changing room without even looking back.

Oikawa looked around at his teammates awkwardly, but no one caught his gaze. Surely Iwaizumi couldn’t be that upset about waiting 10 minutes, that was petty even by Oikawa’s standards.

Walking home alone was boring. It seemed to take double the time and Oikawa was left only with his thoughts, which was never a good idea. Iwaizumi was such a grump. He always got so uptight when Oikawa was messing with him and always took things too personal.

When he got home, he hung his bag on the hook and wandered into the kitchen, taking the opportunity to finally glance over the note left on the side.  
Toru - will be gone a few days, work. Sorry took your lunch, use money from the pot. Don’t know when I’ll be back. Mum.

Oikawa sighed, wishing he had read the note earlier so he could have at least taken the money for food. It wasn’t unusual for his mum to disappear for a few days due to work and it had stopped bothering him a while ago when she did so.

Pulling out his phone, Oikawa clicked on the calendar app to make a note that she was gone, something he liked to do to keep track of her work schedule and if it was needed in a potential later argument because that was his level of petty. He froze looking down at the date. It was October 4th, the anniversary of Iwaizumi’s dad’s death. How could Oikawa be so stupid and forget. No wonder Iwaizumi had been off all day, he was sad, and Oikawa was the selfish idiot that hadn’t event noticed. He quickly opened the cupboard, grabbed some money from the pot and dashed out the door.

*-*-*

Twenty minutes later, Oikawa knocked loudly on Iwaizumi’s front door, his heart beating loudly in his chest. Iwaizumi’s mum answered, eyes slightly puffy, but a small smile on her face when she saw Oikawa.

“Toru, good to see you.” She greeted, parting to let him walk inside. He did, slipping his shoes off and handing her the bouquets of flowers he had hidden behind his back.

“For you,” she smiled at him, took the flowers and gently kissed the taller boy on the cheek, standing on tiptoes to do so.

“You are an angel as ever. He’s upstairs when you’re ready.” Oikawa nodded, dropping his bag by the bottom of the stairs and taking them two at a time. He paused outside of Iwaizumi’s room, taking a deep breath before knocking gently and pushing on the door.

Iwaizumi was lying on his bed, arms above him throwing a volleyball in the air catching it. He glanced over at the door but didn’t seem surprised to see his friend. He said nothing but sat up and flipped his legs around, so they were dangling off the bed. Oikawa walked over to the bed, sat down beside Iwaizumi and wrapped an arm around his shoulder pulling his head down to rest on his shoulder. The other boy didn’t fight it but burrowed his head into Oikawa’s neck, hiding his face.  
“Took you long enough,” Iwaizumi finally mumbled, hot breath against Oikawa’s neck sending shivers down his body.

“I know,” Oikawa replied with a small chuckle. “Had to get my head out of my arse. I’m sorry” Iwaizumi chuckled too, shaking his head but saying nothing.

They stayed in silence; Oikawa unsure what to say mostly but knowing Iwaizumi wasn’t expecting him to say anything. Iwaizumi’s dad had taken his own life three years previous. It had been a horrendous shock. No one had any idea he was struggling. Iwaizumi’s mum the most amazing amount of strength and carried Iwaizumi through the tragic time, only leaning on people when he wasn’t around. Oikawa knew he had also been essential to Iwaizumi’s coping. Maybe that was why the latter put up with him so much, because he knew that deep down Oikawa had a good heart and would always be there for him.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi muttered, suddenly breaking the silence. “Promise me we will talk to each other, always, if things get hard.” Oikawa was slightly taken aback. In general, they did talk to each other about everything, so he was surprised by the notion they wouldn’t. But maybe so had Iwaizumi’s parents.

“I’ll do you one better.” Oikawa said finally, feeling a sly grin slide up his cheeks. “I’ll Eskimo promise you.” Iwaizumi jerked his head up, eyebrows furrowing.  
“What?” He asked incredulously. “We haven’t done that since we were kids!”

“Exactly-it’s a very special and important promise then.” Oikawa chimed, shifting so his body was face Iwaizumi’s head on.

“No, it’s stupid – I don’t wanna!” Iwaizumi shuffled, trying to back away from Oikawa but the latter was too quick. He grabbed both side of Iwaizumi’s face in his hands and held him still. He leaned super close so their noses were almost touching, looking deeply into Iwaizumi’s eyes, who had stopped trying to fight it.

“I, Oikawa Toru, promise that no matter how hard things get, I will always talk to Iwa-chan, about everything. He will be my rock and I will be his.” Oikawa closed his eyes and leant forward, gently brushing his nose across Iwaizumi’s in a small gentle motion. The contact made heat rise on both their faces and both tried to hide it. When he pulled away Iwaizumi’s shoulders had relaxed, and he took Oikawa’s hand in his – pulling them away from his face and down to his lap.

“I, Iwaizumi Hajime, promise that no matter what – I will lean on Oikawa and allow myself to be leaned on. Always.” His cheeks were red and normally Oikawa would tease him for it, but not today, today he would let It slide.

*-*-*

Eskimo promise had been invented when they were 6 years old. They were playing outside Iwaizumi’s back garden, kicking a ball between each other lazily. It was hot so there was minimal effort going into the actual kicking of the ball.

After a while Iwaizumi kicked harder than Oikawa had expected and he stumbled over it when trying to stop the ball, falling forward and scraping his knee on the concrete. Oikawa cried loudly. Iwaizumi felt bad, he ran into the kitchen grabbed a paper towel and gently put it against Oikawa’s knee to stop the bleeding.

“Feel better?” He asked, putting pressure on the cut the way his mum always did to him. Oikawa nodded, biting back a sob and wiped his tears away.

“It does feel better,” he eventually said, pushing Iwaizumi’s hand away and letting the other boy pull him to his feet.

“I’ve never seen you cry before Oikawa-san,” Iwaizumi muttered, brushing off his own trousers of any dirt. Oikawa turned red.

“D-don’t you dare tell anyone – I don’t cry often, that just really hurt. You would cry too.” He pouted and looked away from his friend, trying to hide the blush off his face.

“I won’t tell anyone,” Iwaizumi muttered, trying to hold back his laugh.

“You promise?” Oikawa looked back at him shyly, furrowing his brows to try and read to see if Iwaizumi would dare lie to him.

Iwaizumi sighed, leaning over the put his face directly in front of Oikawa’s and looked deep into his eyes. “I promise,” he muttered before slowly rubbing his nose against Oikawa’s, side to side. It was soft and Oikawa felt his heart slow, feeling weirdly calm although he was mortified.

“W-what was that for?” He asked, watching to see if Iwaizumi’s face would redden at all. It didn’t, which bugged him.

“It’s an Eskimo promise, a super special secret promise that Eskimos do to mean they’ll keep their promises when it’s too cold to get their hand out to pinky promise.” Iwaizumi smiled proudly, clearly happy to share knowledge with Oikawa who was usually the ‘know it all’. Oikawa wanted to point out to his friend that that was actually an Eskimo kiss, but the smile on Iwaizumi’s face was far too endearing to ruin it, so he let it go. Instead Oikawa leant forward and rubbed Iwaizumi’s nose again.

“Eskimo promise” he muttered, smiling uncontrollably.

*-*-*


	2. Entry Exams

It was entry exam season and both the tension and stress were visible in Iwaizumi’s furrowed brows. Oikawa sat straddling his chair, looking down at the book the pair were studying from. He himself wasn’t too worried being naturally quite smart and he did also study hard when needed, but even when he didn’t he seemed to fair okay. Iwaizumi wasn’t the same. He was smart too but only if he studied. In middle school Oikawa had convinced him to skip studying to play volleyball before exams and Iwaizumi failed all of them while Oikawa was in the top 10% of the year. Even Oikawa was aware it wasn’t fair.

“Urggh,” Iwaizumi moaned, slamming his head down on the book. “This isn’t going in!” Oikawa sighed, taking his hand and rubbing his friends’ hair gently.

“Iwa-chan, don’t be a defeatist. You have to keep trying.” His words came out in a very singsong way and Oikawa could see Iwaizumi’s shoulders stiffen at his voice. He shifted his head, so he was resting on his chin, eyes looking up at Oikawa.

“Easy for you to say – you remember everything.” His eyes were sulky, Oikawa couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“Well what can I say, brilliance just can’t be denied when it comes to me!” He continued to laugh loudly which only received more glares from Iwaizumi and others in the class.

“Dumbass,” Iwaizumi muttered moving his head back to lay on the notebook. Oikawa sighed loudly, scraping his chair as he pushed it back, standing.

“While you continue with your little sulk, I’m going to get some drinks.” Iwaizumi gave a small groan in response and Oikawa moved around his desk, rubbing his hair again as he did, to leave the classroom.

It was afterschool and both the boys were taking extra cram lessons to prepare for the exam which were due to take place the following week. Oikawa probably didn’t need the extra lessons, which was why he wasn’t really trying hard, but until after the exams 3rd years weren’t allowed at volleyball practice and it beat going home to be alone in an empty house.

Oikawa grabbed two cans of coffee from the vending machine and slowly wandered back to their classroom. He was very confident he would get a place at Tokyo University. Not only would he most likely ace his exams he knew they were interested in him for his volleyball skills alone. Iwaizumi however, well he wasn’t as much of sure thing. Oikawa believed in him and felt he would be okay with the exams, but Iwaizumi seemed a little hopeless about the situation. No matter how much Oikawa told him he’d be fine, the other boy didn’t seem to believe him. It was like he was not only doubting his own abilities but also Oikawa’s judgment, which was just ludicrous. He would be fine.

When Oikawa got back to their classroom Hanamaki was leaning against the wall, chatting to Iwaizumi.

“Shouldn’t you be studying for the exams?” Oikawa chimed, placing a drink on Iwaizumi’s desk. He stayed standing but leaned on his own desk. “You need all the extra help you can get right?”

“Thanks for that, Oikawa-san! Real nice.” Hanamaki sighed, rolling his eyes.

“What are captains for,” Oikawa grinned, handing the drink in his own hand to Hanamaki. “But you are studying hard yes?”

“Yes!” Hanamaki replied, standing from the wall and taking the drink from Oikawa. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” Oikawa sat back down, straddling his chair facing Iwaizumi’s desk. “You staying to study with us?”

“No, I should get back to my classroom. Thanks for the drink Oikawa-san, good luck studying you two.” He slumped off towards the door, turning back to face them.

“See you Saturday Iwaizumi.” He called back before opening the door and leaving. Oikawa raised his brow, turning to face Iwaizumi who was intently staring at his notebook.

“What’s happening Saturday? You told me you were busy and couldn’t come over to watch the movie marathon with me?” There was a pout in his words which Oikawa didn’t try to hide.

“I am busy, with Hanamaki in the morning and studying in the afternoon.” Iwaizumi replied, not even looking up at Oikawa and blatantly ignoring his pouty voice.  
“What’re you doing with him?” Oikawa asked shamelessly. He knew it may sound like he was jealous but he didn’t care. Why would Iwaizumi and Hanamaki be hanging out without inviting him?

“Playing volleyball with him and some other guys.” Iwaizumi muttered, risking a glance up at Oikawa’s face.

Oikawa’s mouth dropped, genuinely shocked by the statement.

“WHAT! Why haven’t you invited me to play? I’m the captain and the best player on the team?” Oikawa slammed his elbows on the table and placed his chin in his hands, staring Iwaizumi down.

“You need to control your modesty.” Iwaizumi replied dryly, pushing Oikawa’s elbows off his textbook. “And I was invited by someone else, so I can’t just invite people. Plus, its with some of the other schools and we know you don’t play well with others.” Oikawa saw a small smirk tug at Iwaizumi’s lips, and he felt heat rise to his own face.

“You’re meeting with rival schools? Are you both traitors? Is this a joke?” He felt his voice come out uncontrolled and tried to regain composure of his face. How could Iwaizumi be playing with other teams.

“Oh get real, the season is over and more then likely I will be teammates with these guys next year so its good to get to know them more as people and players.” Iwaizumi leant back in his chair, eyeing Oikawa’s expression. The latter tried to not show the irritation in his face but felt his eyebrow twitching.

“Who exactly is getting into Tokyo university because I can’t imagine many of the people in this district will be. Besides, why wouldn’t you tell me about this?” He took a breath, feeling his composure return to normal. Iwaizumi shifted his gaze, almost awkwardly.

“Well, I didn’t tell you because of this reaction and does it matter who its with. I enjoy it so leave me be.” He picked up the textbook that was laying flat and placed it so it was blocking out Oikawa’s face.

“Urg,” Oikawa spat. “Mature.” He heard Iwaizumi let out a small laugh but chose to ignore it.

*-*-*

When Saturday came, Oikawa felt restless. He had decided he would forget studying and watch the movie marathon on his own but couldn’t stop feeling an uncontrollable twitch. He couldn’t sit still for longer then 20 minutes, kept pacing in the living room, peaking out of the curtain every time he heard what sounded like the garden gate. Why did it bother him so much that Iwaizumi was out with other people? Was he jealous that he had other friends? Or was he sad that he himself hadn’t been invited? Or was it that he felt betrayed. All or none of the thoughts seemed to be the answer and that only frustrated Oikawa more.

At 12.45 there was a loud bang on Oikawa’s front door, which made him jump. He leaped off the sofa and hurried to it, swinging it open to find Iwaizumi standing on his porch, hair a little dishevelled and face with a pink, post exercise glow.

“Oh, its you,” Oikawa said, completely contradicting the leap he felt in his heart at seeing the other boy.

“Don’t give me that, I came here to see If you wanted to come over and study but if you’re gonna be a grump I wont bother.” Iwaizumi half turned to leave but Oikawa quickly lent out to grab his shoulder to stop him.

“Well, you are actually in luck,” he said, his voice sounding far cooler and more aloof then his actions were making him seem. “This movie marathon is actually quite dull so I guess studying wouldn’t be a bad idea.” He watched as a wide grin spread across Iwaizumi’s face and couldn’t stop a small one pulling at his own lips.

“Give me 15 minutes to get showered and changed and come over okay?” Oikawa nodded and let Iwaizumi’s shoulder go. The latter turned and ran back down the path. Oikawa smiled to himself, watching his friend, all the earlier restlessness he’d felt completely evaporated.

*-*-*

The day of the exams came, and Oikawa was nervous. Not for himself of course, he was more then confident in his abilities, but he was nervous for Iwaizumi. He didn’t doubt that Iwaizumi could do well, really well based on the amount of studying he’d been doing, but he could see the stress and pressure in his friends’ eyes. It was getting to him and in any situation that didn’t involve volleyball, Iwaizumi didn’t handle pressure well.

The pair walked from the station to the exam centre together in silence. Oikawa wasn’t sure if he should make light jokes or if Iwaizumi would rather the silence to go over things he’d memorised in his head. It was a big day and Oikawa didn’t want to do anything to jeopardise his friends shot.

When they reached the centre, Iwaizumi stopped a few feet from the gate and Oikawa only noticed when he was a few feet in front of him. He came to a halt too, turning to look at his friend.

“Iwa-chan?” He asked, eyes looking over Iwaizumi’s face. His mouth was partly open and he was breathing deeply. Oikawa smiled, noticing the usual Iwaizumi breathing practice, something he did before games. He was going to be okay.

“Let’s do this,” Iwaizumi said, taking a step forward and frowned his brow in determination. Yep, he’s going to be okay.

*-*-*

It hadn’t even been a week before Oikawa got the letter. Not only had he got a place at Tokyo University he has been offered a full scholarship to study and play for their Volleyball team. He couldn’t quite believe it. He was sure he would get in, but this was something he hadn’t even thought was possible. His mother had been working herself silly since his father had left, trying to save to be able to send Oikawa to university and now, now she didn’t have to worry. She could stop working so hard and be home more. Oikawa was very excited to let her know, however ironically, she was away at work so he would have to wait. However, Iwaizumi was only next door and Oikawa could tell him right now.

He grabbed his coat, slipped on his shoes and flew out the door. He didn’t even bother to run to the end of his garden and instead jumped the fence that separated their houses. Trying to compose himself, he knocked gently on the door. Iwaizumi was going to be so proud.

Iwaizumi opened the door and instantly Oikawa’s face dropped. His friend didn’t even need to speak for Oikawa to know something was wrong, his eyes were puffy and red, and Oikawa felt sick.

“What happened?” He asked without greeting his friend and pushed himself into the house, quickly shoving his letter in his pocket.

“Please, come in” Iwaizumi said dryly, closing the door behind Oikawa and leaning against it. Oikawa didn’t take his shoes off or move from the porch way. Instead he just furrowed his brows at Iwaizumi, waiting.

The other sighed deeply, eyes shifting to the side.

“I didn’t make it.” He muttered so quietly Oikawa almost didn’t hear him.

“What?” Oikawa asked, feeling breathless like he’d just been punched in the stomach.

“I didn’t pass the exam - I didn’t get into Tokyo.” He sniffed and rubbed his nose gently.

Oikawa felt sick. How, how could Iwaizumi not have gotten in. He’d worked so hard. He’s studied for hours - he was so talented. He deserved it. How could Oikawa get in, with a scholarship no less, and Iwaizumi didn’t?

Without saying anything Oikawa leant forward and wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi’s neck, pulling him into a hug. He pressed him back against the door to lean on and lowered his head to rest on Iwaizumi’s shoulder. He felt tears in his eyes.

“Idiot, what’re you getting soppy for,” Iwaizumi muttered but Oikawa heard the crack in his voice. He also gently grabbed onto Oikawa’s shirt, returning the hug.

After a few moments, Iwaizumi coughed slightly and pushed Oikawa off him. “Come on now, let’s not be dramatic.” He muttered, forcing a laugh.

Oikawa smirked, straightening himself and rubbing a hand over his eyes to wipe away any tears that may have fallen.

“So, have you heard yet?” Iwaizumi eyed Oikawa suspiciously and Oikawa felt suddenly startled.

“Erm, yeah.” He muttered, looking down at his hands awkwardly.

“And?” Iwaizumi pressed. Oikawa gulped. How could he tell Iwaizumi he got in? How could he even go to Tokyo without Iwaizumi? He’d always imagined them at the same university, living together. He wasn’t ready for that imagination to end.

“I-” Oikawa started, taking a breath before looking up at Iwaizumi. “I didn’t get in either.” Iwaizumi blinked, looking completely taken aback. He didn’t say anything but jumped forward and pulled Oikawa into his chest, wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

Shit! Oikawa thought. What am I going to do?

*-*-*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s another chapter – thanks to everyone who has kept up with this so far, I’m really enjoying writing this and will keep trying to update on a weekly bases!


	3. Truth hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad language warning in this chapter.

Almost a month had passed since the entrance exams had taken place and still Oikawa hadn’t got around to telling Iwaizumi that he’d gotten into Tokyo University. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep up pretending, what with Iwaizumi getting into his second choice university, Tohoku University, and his friend putting the pressure on Oikawa to get in touch with them to get a place as well. Within the last month Oikawa also hadn’t replied to Tokyo’s offer of his scholar ship despite them sending him a further letter requesting a response. In truth, in had no idea what to do.

Since the exams were done, the 3rd years were back to training. The season had already ended so they were taking it upon themselves to work with the second and first years. Oikawa was working extra hard with Yahaba. Not only would it do the team good, it was good practice for Oikawa too.

“You need to react quicker – slow sets like that are obvious and predictable.” Oikawa shouted from the back of the court. He watched Yahaba sweating profusely, breathing deeply, but nodded in agreement and didn’t argue back. Oikawa smirked, feeling happy with himself and hopeful for Aoba Johsai’s future.

“He’s looking good,” Iwaizumi muttered as he stepped up beside Oikawa. The latter cocked his head to the side, eyes gliding over to his friend. Iwaizumi gently placed his hand on the base of Oikawa’s back when he approached, who shuddered at the touch. Oikawa studied Iwaizumi’s face, looking for any signs of discomfort in his eyes or brows. There wasn’t – Iwaizumi seemed totally content touching Oikawa, which only made heat rise to his face. They’d been touchy their whole lives so it was normal, but recently Oikawa had noticed Iwaizumi had been touching him more and more.

“I think he’ll do good,” Oikawa replied finally ripping his eyes off his friend and back to the court.

“I’m going to miss this you know.” Iwaizumi said, voice quiet and sad. Oikawa was too. He was going to miss playing on this court, which had been his home for three years. He was going to miss playing with his friends – miss being their captain. He was going to miss….. Iwaizumi. Would he really be able to go to a university without him? The thought made Oikawa ache inside. His mind couldn’t comprehend the idea of them not being together, Oikawa setting for Iwaizumi seamlessly before he smashed it over the net. He couldn’t have another ace. And not just in Volleyball, in all aspects of life. They weren’t meant to be apart.

“Come on, don’t get sappy, we’ve got a good 4 months left,” Oikawa finally replied in a voice more relaxed then he really felt, turning to his friend and gently punching his shoulder. “Let’s not get sad now.”

Iwaizumi looked over at him, his eyes tracing the shape of Oikawa’s smile, before he smirked back. “You’re right – lets enjoy this and make this team undefeatable.” Oikawa nodded, reaching over to squeeze his friends shoulder before turning back towards the net to continue setting.

After training Oikawa stood in the changing room door, watching Iwaizumi. “What shall we do this weekend?” He asked as he left the changing room, grabbing his friends’ bag from the bench while Iwaizumi was distracted tapping away at his phone. Oikawa was about 20 feet from the building when Iwaizumi jogged to catch up with him, tucking his phone back into his pocket. Oikawa glanced over at it but didn’t say anything. He felt that Iwaizumi didn’t want him to see his phone, but maybe he was just being paranoid.

“I’m busy Saturday but free Sunday – we could catch up on the new _Space Wars_ episode?” Iwaizumi lent and grabbed his bag from Oikawa’s hands, rubbing his fingers gently over Oikawa’s, perhaps lingering on them slightly longer then needed.

“Ah, can do yeah. What’re you doing on Saturday?” He chanced a glance at his friend who looked directly forward but eyes didn’t flinch.

“Erm, volleyball then hanging out with the guys for a bit after.”

“Right.” Oikawa felt his stomach drop. Of course, Iwaizumi was hanging out with his other friends again. Over the last month he seemed to be hanging out with them most weekends, which meant the two of them hung out even less. It bothered Oikawa. Especially since Iwaizumi had told him most, if not all, of the guys were going to Tohoku University with him next year. Well, _them_ , as far as Iwaizumi was concerned.

“What does that mean?” Iwaizumi looked over at him, accusingly.

“What does what mean? Right? It means…right.” Oikawa felt his voice come out sharp. Was Iwaizumi trying to start an argument?

“Well, it just sounds like your bothered, is all?”

“No – you hang out with them most weekends now, so it’s expected really.”

Iwaizumi stopped and grabbed Oikawa’s wrist, pulling him to a halt as well.

“Hey, what’re you doing?” Oikawa tugged at his arm annoyed, but Iwaizumi’s grip was too strong.

“I don’t want this to bother you, so don’t lie to me.” Iwaizumi said, firmly holding Oikawa still.

“I’m not bothered.” He was. In truth, he felt sick it bothered him so much, but he couldn’t tell Iwaizumi that.

“Why don’t you come with me?” Iwaizumi smiled sweetly and it took Oikawa back. He’d never been invited before.

“Erm, its fine, it’s your … your thing.” He heard the stutter in his voice and cursed himself.

“Yeah but it could be our thing. Like, we’re going to the same University with them so it would be good for you to come too.” Iwaizumi moved his hand off Oikawa’s wrist and ran it down to grab Oikawa’s hand. He squeezed it. The touch made a lump appear in Oikawa’s throat, as well as the lie.

“Maybe next time?” He squeezed Iwaizumi’s hand back before turning to continue walking. He didn’t want Iwaizumi to see him look guilty.

“Sounds perfect,” Iwaizumi chimed, catching up with him again.

They walked the rest of the way home in mostly silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, or Oikawa hoped it didn’t seem it. Ever since he had lied about not getting into Tokyo, he felt guilty every time universities came up.

They got back to their houses and Iwaizumi invited himself over to Oikawa’s for tea. Oikawa let them in and was surprised when he heard movement in the kitchen. His mother hadn’t been home for almost a week.

“Is that you Toru?” Her voice called out and Oikawa felt himself beam.

“Yeah mum, Iwaizumi is with me too.” He called back and slid off his shoes, stepping into the hallway, Iwaizumi right behind him.

“Ah, Hajime-kun” Hana Oikawa gave both the boys a kiss on the cheek and a hug. “How are you dear?”

“Good thank you Oikawa-san. How’s work been?”

She rolled her eyes, sighing. “It’s been so long, but I’m cutting down my hours as of next week.” She gleamed at them and Oikawa blinked in surprise. This was news to him.

“Are you actually mum, how come?” He followed her back into the kitchen and leant on the counter, reaching across to grab her hand. Iwaizumi joined them, leaning beside Oikawa, “That’s excellent news!” She laughed loudly, squeezing his hand back.

“I know, I couldn’t wait to tell you. Ever since I got the call from Tokyo University, I knew I could, I didn’t need to stress as much.”

Oikawa’s heart sank. _Tokyo University?_

“Are you going to be working there?” Iwaizumi asked, pure confusion mixed with excitement on his face.

“Ha, of course not. But since Toru’s gone and got himself a scholarship, I won’t need to worry about earning as much to support him so no need to work as much.” Iwaizumi looked over at Oikawa, his face completely blank of emotion.

“Scholarship? What’s going on Oikawa, you didn’t get in?” Oikawa gulped, standing straight, Iwaizumi mirroring his movement, and looked nervously between his mum and his friend.

“Didn’t get in? Toru, why haven’t you told Hajime-kun yet.” Hana looked at her son, bemused. “Also, while we’re on the topic, why haven’t you contacted Tokyo. They said they hadn’t heard from you?” Oikawa felt himself sweating, his heart was racing.

“Wait, you got a scholarship to attend Tokyo University which, one you haven’t accepted and two, you lied to me about it?” Iwaizumi face had now dropped, he looked fuming.

“I,” Oikawa started, finding himself lost for words. “I – I was going to say something.” He tried, looking over at his mum accusingly.

“Erm, I’ll leave you guys for a moment,” Hana muttered, slipping out of the kitchen. Oikawa looked after her, feeling abandoned.

“Oikawa – is this true?” Iwaizumi faced him head on and although he was the shorter of the two Oikawa felt he was towering over him.

“Iwa-chan, I – I was going to tell you. I was, its just..”

“You’re an arsehole. You lied to me, acted like we were in the same boat when I was devastated and really you were what, lying to me – mocking me the whole time?” It looked like tears were forming in Iwaizumi’s eyes and Oikawa felt as if his heart would break. He had really hurt his friend.

“Please, it wasn’t like that at all. I just felt guilty. I couldn’t tell you when you were so upset.”

“So, you lied about it?” Iwaizumi’s voice was raised, he took a step towards Oikawa, who pressed back against the counter.

“Please Iwa, let me explain.” He voice was shaking; they’d never argued before.

“No, fuck that Oikawa. You have no idea how much I put up with being your friend. I’m always defending you, when people ask how I can be friends with such a selfish prick I always defend you, saying you’re a good person. What a joke.” Iwaizumi bit his lip and whipped his head to the side. Oikawa could see tears now very clearly falling down his cheeks. Oikawa himself felt his eyes going wet. He didn’t even care about the insults his friend let out; he knew he didn’t mean them.

“Iwaizumi,” Oikawa’s voice cracked but he didn’t care. He tried to grab Iwaizumi’s hand, but the latter pulled it away turning his back to Oikawa.

“I’m leaving.” Oikawa let him leave the kitchen and didn’t try to stop him. “Thanks for having me Oikawa-san, please excuse my language.” Oikawa heard Iwaizumi in the hall before the sound of the front door closing followed. Hana Oikawa came back into the kitchen, looking sheepish.

“I’m so sorry Toru,” she muttered, coming to stand behind her son. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Not your fault,” he replied, letting the tears leave his eyes. He leant towards his mother, resting his head on her shoulder. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder and held him, both remaining in silence.

*-*-*

Iwaizumi didn’t come over on Sunday. Oikawa messaged him a few times, but he didn’t reply and Oikawa didn’t chase him. He felt down. All of Saturday he laid in bed, watching re-runs of _Space Wars._ He heard Iwaizumi leave the house to go to volleyball and when he did Oikawa peaked a look out of his bedroom window. Iwaizumi didn’t even look in his direction, but he looked normal which made Oikawa happy.

On Monday Iwaizumi didn’t wait for him to walk to school together. Oikawa was dressing in the mirror when he heard Iwaizumi’s front door slam then he watched out the window as his friend walked straight passed his house, not even looking up.

Oikawa walked to school alone and when he entered the classroom took his usual seat behind Iwaizumi. His friend was already seated and didn’t register Oikawa’s presence. Oikawa himself was unsure of whether to say anything, if in class was an appropriate time to talk in case Iwaizumi would start yelling again. He didn’t care about people hearing their argument, didn’t care it made him look bad, he just didn’t want Iwaizumi to be distracted and frustrated

Throughout the whole of the day the boys didn’t talk. Iwaizumi didn’t even make eye contact with Oikawa, who spend the whole day zoned out staring at his friend’s head. At lunch, Iwaizumi went to meet Hanamaki while Oikawa stayed at his desk, opened a book and ate his lunch.

After class was over Oikawa walked alone to the changing room. He felt so alone without his friend.

The changing room went silent when he entered, everyone looked at him except Iwaizumi. Oikawa tried to smile normally.

“Stop staring and concentrate on changing. I know I’m beautiful you don’t need to remind me.” A few of his teammates chuckled while others rolled their eyes, before turning back and continuing to change.

Oikawa worked the team hard during practice, Yahaba especially. He didn’t intend to take his frustration out on his underclassman, but it seemed it was the only way he could let his emotions out. He never realised before how alone he would be without Iwaizumi. His mum was back to work today for at least two nights and without Iwaizumi to hang out with he had no other friends. How hadn’t he realised it before, his whole life was revolved around Iwaizumi.

“Oikawa-san, are you okay?” Yahaba said, standing directly in front of Oikawa, who jumped back slightly, not having noticed the other boy coming up to him.

“Erm, yeah – why?” His voice wasn’t as convincingly confident as he intended it to be.

“You spaced out looking over there,” Yahaba pointed in the direction of where Iwaizumi was tossing to Kindaichi. Oikawa slapped Yahaba’s hand down, spinning them both around so they were facing the other way. Nothing about his reaction was subtle and Oikawa cursed himself the moment his head caught up with his actions.

“Erm, I – I was just observing my players, that’s all. Don’t point – its rude.” He chuckled, trying to sound as chilled as possible.

“Rigggght,” Yahaba replied, extending his word in a way which showed he believed nothing Oikawa was saying.

“Get back over to the net, come on.” Yahaba nodded, running back to the net. Oikawa took a deep breath, he needed to keep his head in the practice.

*-*-*

Oikawa stayed late after practice alone and only left long after the sun had set. He needed space to clear his head and to let out some emotions through his serves. How long was Iwaizumi planning to ignore him?

He locked up the gym and headed out to walk the normal way home, opting to take a few short cuts to get their quicker. In truth he was glad to stay late so he didn’t need to spend so long at home alone. There were a few alleyways which cut behind the main streets, meaning he could avoid the crowds and cut off a few minutes of his journey. He wasn’t concentrating on where he was going when he collided with another person in front of him.

“Christ,” Oikawa muttered, standing back and rubbing his head. He looked up at the man in front of him, who was smirking. He stood a good few inches over Oikawa, had short cropped hair and was holding a baseball bat.

“Look what we have here, a cocky little schoolboy.” Oikawa heard shuffles of footsteps behind him and chanced a glance over his shoulder. Two more large men were approaching him, both looked equally as thuggish as the first.

What had Oikawa walked himself into?


	4. Always be there

Somehow, Oikawa managed to limp home. The men had demanded he hand over his wallet and belongings, which he refused, and had taken to beating him and ripping them from him. Internally, he felt weak. He could hear the creak of his bones as he walked, he’d definitely broken a few. Bruises were already forming all over his body and breathing was hard and painful.

They’d taken his bag, which contained his phone, wallet and house keys. His gym bag, thankfully, he’d left in the changing room and his mum always kept a spare key hidden in his front garden, which Oikawa struggled to get but managed to eventually, grateful for his mum’s thinking.

When inside his house, Oikawa locked the front door and shuffled into his living room. Everything was dark and he didn’t bother to turn on the light before gently placing himself on the sofa. He laid on his back, wincing at the various pains that shot through him. A section of his ribs throbbed, and Oikawa placed his hand over it. He’d never been beaten up before, always been a little cocky and too big for his boots but somehow managed to avoid ever getting in a fight. One time, in middle school, some boys had threatened to beat him up but Iwaizumi had stepped in, punched one of them square in the face and got in extreme trouble.

_Iwaizumi._

Oikawa wanted nothing more then to see his friend, but even if he resided to texting him, he had no way of doing so. Of course, he was only next door but the thought of getting up was too much. Right now, it was all too much.

*-*-*

Light streamed in and over Oikawa’s eye lids. He moaned, tried to shift where he lay but instantly felt pain shot through various parts of his body.

“Shit,” he muttered to himself, slowly opening his eyes. He was still on the sofa, dressed in his uniform which was crumpled and bloody in certain areas. He was cold, having not turned on the heating before he passed out. Shifting his gaze to the large clock hung on the wall he saw it was already 10am, meaning he’d missed school. _Great._

Wincing loudly, Oikawa shifted up into a sitting position. He felt weak, sick and tired despite sleeping for hours. He needed to shower or change at least and get some water as his head was also banging. Moving slowly, he managed to get to the kitchen, found some pills and drank some water. He couldn’t face the stairs so rummaged through to clean washing in the utility cupboard. Quickly stripped and threw on some clean bottoms. He chanced a glance over his torso, saw the grazes, bruises, cuts but had no energy to clean them. They could wait until later. Instead he made his way back to the living room, turning up the heat on the way, and resided back to the sofa with water and snacks.

He spent the day like that, watching random TV programmes that showed during day time TV. The phone rung various times, and he wondered if any were the school or maybe his mum. None of the times he answered.

Around 4 o’clock he dozed back to sleep.

*-*-*

There was a banging and Oikawa felt like it was in his head. His eyes fluttered and he was in semi darkness again, the tv still playing.

“Oikawa – you in there?” Shouting through the letter box. _Was that… Iwaizumi?_

He tried to sit up but struggled.

The banging continued.

“I’m coming.” Oikawa whispered, feeling hopeful that Iwaizumi was visiting. He swung his legs off the sofa.

The banging continued. Oikawa sighed, sitting straight. His legs were stiff and his back almost cracked as he sat.

The banging stopped and Oikawa felt his stomach drop. Iwaizumi had gone, he didn’t have a chance to see him. His eyes began to well up. He felt so alone, and he was in so much pain and felt so sad. A few tears dropped from his eyes and he leant back on the sofa, looking up to the ceiling, wondering what he was doing. He had never felt so pathetic, so helpless and useless. He wanted his mum. He wanted Iwaizumi.

A sudden jingling at the door made Oikawa’s head snap up, which instantly he regretted when it began to spin.

“Oikawa?” He heard called as the door opened.

“Iwa?” He called out, looking towards the living room door as Iwaizumi walked into view. His friend stopped when he caught sight of him, sitting in his sweats only, crumpled, broken and bruised.

“What the hell happened?” Iwaizumi muttered, rushing into the living room and taking a knee in front of Oikawa, who leant his elbows on his knees, placing his face in his hands. Iwaizumi’s face was directly in front of his and Oikawa couldn’t stop a smile spreading across his face.

“How did you get in?” Oikawa asked, tilting his head slightly. He knew he looked pathetic and was showing more weakness then he would have liked, but right now he just didn’t care.

“We have a key to your house but answer my question. What happened to you? You look awful, like you’ve been beaten up or something?” Iwaizumi took his hand and gently placed the back to Oikawa’s forehead. “and you have a fever.”

“I’m okay, mostly. Listen, I need to apologise to you. I should never have lied to you about everything.” Oikawa took a deep breath, then winced as his ribs twitched.

“Stop – we are not talking about this now!” Iwaizumi stood up and lent his hands down to Oikawa. “Let’s get you cleaned up – some of these cuts looks like they haven’t been treated.”

With Iwaizumi’s help, Oikawa was able to be pulled off the sofa and was supported in making his way up the stairs. Iwaizumi led him into the bathroom, helped him sit on the shut toilet, and moved to rummage through the cabinet.

“Good to see your mum still keeps this cupboard stocked up, even now.” He peered around the cabinet door, smirking at Oikawa.

“She knows us well,” he chuckled, wincing again as he did.

Iwaizumi closed the cabinet door and came back to Oikawa with cotton wall, cut cleaner and cream. He knelt again in front of him, placing everything by his feet. “So, you going to tell me what happened?”

“Do I have to?” Oikawa couldn’t imagine the embarrassment he would feel confessing to Iwaizumi of his weakness and stupidity.

“Yes, you do – you can’t not come to school, make me worry then when I turn up look like this,” Iwaizumi gestured to Oikawa as a whole. He’d never seen him look so bad. “Now hold still.” He grabbed some of the soaked cotton wall and gently dabbed it against a cut on Oikawa’s ribs, who grimaced the moment he did.

“Ouch, bugger Iwa-chan, be gentle.” He tried to squirm away, but Iwaizumi grabbed his waist tightly.

“Stay still,” he commanded with a shadow of a laugh in his voice.

“God you’re enjoying this.” Oikawa smirked, then scowled when Iwaizumi went in again.

They stayed in silence for a while, Oikawa trying to control his breathing while Iwaizumi continually cleaned all over this torso.

“Right, turn around so I can check your back. How do you feel inside, do you think anything is broken?”

Oikawa obeyed and turned around, shaking his head. “I don’t know, maybe or just bruised.”

“And this happened how?” Iwaizumi pressed, pushing hard into Oikawa back, making him bite his lip to avoid swearing.

“You really aren’t going to let this drop, are you?”

“Nope.”

“Fine,” Oikawa sighed, closing his eyes. “Fine, I got mugged okay! Yesterday when I was walking home from training, I took the back route and got mugged.” His face was hot so he knew he must be blushing.

Iwaizumi stayed silent for a moment; Oikawa could feel his breath hot on his shoulders.

“Oikawa.” It came out like a whisper, which only made Oikawa heat up more. “I’m so sorry I left you.”

Iwaizumi leant his head on Oikawa’s shoulder, his head cold on Oikawa’s skin.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa muttered, turning his own head to look at the top of his friend’s. “You don’t need to be sorry, its me who should be. Plus, I was stupid. I should have known better then walking that way.”

“Yeah that is pretty stupid. But I should have spoke to you instead of sulking all day. I was just so angry at you.” He paused, lifting his head and continued to clean Oikawa’s back.

“You should have been angry. I should never have lied to you about Tokyo. I just, well, I saw you were so upset, and I couldn’t tell you. I also couldn’t imagine going there without you and I was shocked, about everything.”

“Idiot,” Iwaizumi pushed Oikawa’s shoulder lightly. “I was angrier about the fact you hadn’t replied to the offer.”

Oikawa shifted and turned back around to face Iwaizumi, who lent back to sit on his heels. “What are you talking about?” Oikawa was very confused now. Surely the whole reason Iwaizumi was upset was because of the lie.

“Of course, I was mad about you lying, but I get why you did. What I don’t get is why you haven’t replied to Tokyo. Its been ages, what if they retract their offer. This is a once in a lifetime thing, one that you deserve, and I was pissed off that you were being stupid and selfish.” He had an unreadable expression. Oikawa could feel himself welling up again, he wasn’t sure if it was the lack of food, the sluggish feeling in his body or what, but he felt like he wanted to cry.

“Iwa, how could I just willingly accept Tokyo, when that means us not being together. I can’t imagine going to university without you – I don’t want to.” Tears slipped from his eyes and he couldn’t quite believe how pathetic he felt. What was happening to him?

“You’re so stupid – I know we have never been separated but we will always be there for each other, support each other, even if we can’t in person. Going to a different uni’s won’t stop me following you around.” Iwaizumi smirked, cocking his head to the side.

Oikawa didn’t know what to say. He felt a heavy feeling in his chest, he felt overwhelmed. It was too much.

“You’re the stupid one,” he muttered throwing himself forward and wrapping his arms around Iwaizumi’s shoulders. The latter wobbled but steadied himself and wrapped his own arms gentally around Oikawa’s bruised, bare skin.

“Let’s get you cleaned up and to bed.” He muttered into Oikawa’s neck, who just nodded, stifling a cry.

After Oikawa had been sufficiently cleaned and bandaged, Iwaizumi helped him to his bedroom, left him to change his clothes and get into bed. While Oikawa did that, Iwaizumi made some soup and got some tablets for him. Oikawa tucked himself in, feeling his body relax the moment he did. He was still really hot but made sure to cover himself fully to not catch a chill.

“You look like a caterpillar.” Iwaizumi laughed when he re-entered, tray in hand.

“Shut it, I’m getting comfy.” Oikawa pouted, shuffling to sit up while keeping himself covered.

“Want me to feed you?” Iwaizumi cooed, unable to keep a serious face and breaking into a laugh.

“Shut it you.” He took the tray from Iwaizumi and slowly eat his soup.

“So, you’re going to accept?”

Oikawa eyed his friend from over his soup. “Maybe.” He muttered. He hadn’t had time to think it through too much, he only wanted Iwaizumi to forgive him.

“Well you better, or I’ll never speak to you again.” Iwaizumi smirked while Oikawa just pouted more.

After he’d finished eating Iwaizumi took the tray from him and took it to the kitchen. When he returned, he took some sweatpants from Oikawa’s draws and got changed into them before switching the light off and coming back to the bed.

“Move over,” he commanded to Oikawa.

“Excuse me?” Oikawa asked, glaring back at his friend.

“Move over, I’m coming in.” Iwaizumi didn’t wait for Oikawa to agree, instead lifted the blanket and pushed himself in.

“W-what, why?” Oikawa budged over rather unwillingly.

“Well, I’m looking after you, so I’m going to stay.” Iwaizumi settled in the bed, turning to lay on his side to face Oikawa, duvet up to his chin.

“This is unnecessary.” Oikawa sighed, holding back any trace of the smile he felt inside. He moved to rest on his side, facing Iwaizumi too.

“Just go to sleep”.

Oikawa nodded, closing his eyes easily. Exhaustion was very quickly taking its hold on him.

“Good night Iwa-chan,” he muttered, voice heavy.

“Good night.” Iwaizumi replied, leaning over and very softly placing a kiss on Oikawa’s head.

If Oikawa had the energy, he would have blushed, but he was already drifting off to sleep.


	5. First Kiss

It had been two weeks since Oikawa had been mugged and he was still mostly out of commission. Thankfully none of his ribs had been broken but, after his mum had forced him to the doctors, they had found there was some severe bruising to his ribs so he wouldn’t be able to do any physical activity for at least 6 weeks. Which meant, no volleyball. It was annoying and, in truth, Oikawa couldn’t miss 6 weeks of training. Especially since he had accepted his scholarship and the thought of not training made him anxious it would hold him back when he got to Tokyo.

“You need to stop sulking and get on with it” Iwaizumi sighed as he came to stand beside Oikawa, sweat rolling down his face. It was after school training and although Oikawa couldn’t take part he still attended to help Irihata and Mizoguch coach – he was the captain after all.

“I’m not sulking, I’m just watching Iwaizumi!”

“You _are_ sulking otherwise you wouldn’t have called me Iwaizumi.” His friend smirked at him, punching his shoulder gently. “Come on, you’ll be back before you know it.”

“I know,” Oikawa sighed, standing from the bench he had been taking refuge on and stretching out. “I’m just anxious is all.”

“I know you are.” Iwaizumi watched him, gently patting him on the back. “Just rest and you’ll be back in no time.”

Oikawa nodded, scanning around the room. He hated being unable to take part, it not only made him frustrated, but it made him jealous and that was never a good look on him.

“Well, you’re not injured so get back out there. And one lap of floor slides for taking an unauthorised break.” He grinned at Iwaizumi evilly.

“You bastard.” Iwaizumi pouted, but left none the less and began his punishment. At least if nothing else Oikawa, as captain, could still tell the others what to do.

At the end of training, all the team gathered in a circle to wrap up not only the practice but also the end of the year.

“Okay everyone, good practice today.” Oikawa called to everyone, beaming at them. “This will be our last practice until after New Year’s now, so make sure you still work on skills over the winter break – no excuses for slacking off. I’ll know who hasn’t been keeping up their training. We have our team party on the 26th, so don’t forget that. Study hard as always and have a good break.” Everyone cheered, lots of _yes’_ chimed as they all bounded off to the changing rooms.

“Oikawa, you’re waiting for me yeah?” Iwaizumi asked as he walked towards the changing room.

“Of course, I’ll help pack up and I’ll come in.” Oikawa replied, heading over to give some of the first years a help with the balls. He normally wouldn’t – it was a very important job for the younger players to feel involved in the team, but today he wasn’t feeling very important himself.

When he finally wandered into the changing rooms, there was lots of laughing, shouting and ooo-ings. He could only wonder and perpetually rolled his eyes at whatever they were discussing.

“Tell us about it,” Hanamaki asked, punching Iwaizumi on the shoulder.

“No way, it was when I was younger so what does it matter. Surely its normal for guys our age anyway.” He replied, hitting Hanamakis’ hands away with his towel.

“Oh, look at you sounding all grown up.” Matsukawa muttered. “And how much younger?”

“Well, I’m surprised you guys haven’t. We’re going to college next year, surely you want to before then.” Iwaizumi smirked at them almost smugly and Oikawa’s curiosity only increased.

“What are you guys talking about?” He asked, leaning on the door frame.

“Iwaizumi is boasting about kissing.” Hanamaki called, pointing at the other boy accusingly.

“I’m hardly boasting – you asked me if I’d ever kissed anyone and I said yes.” Iwaizumi shot back, avoiding looking at Oikawa as a blush spread across his cheeks.

“He’s blushing now!” Matsukawa cheered, trying to turn Iwaizumi around so the others could see him.

“Come on, leave Iwa-chan alone – he must be embarrassed” Oikawa cooed, although inside he was racking his brain for a time they had talked about kissing. Was he even aware that Iwaizumi had kissed anyone?

“So, what about you Oikawa-sempai? When was your first kiss?” Yahaba asked. Oikawa blinked at him, slightly taken aback.

“Erm, I haven’t had one.” He replied honestly, not feeling embarrassed at all by the notion.

“You haven’t? But you’re always surrounded by girls, always flirting with them!”

“Yeah but I have more important things to focus on then girls,” Oikawa laughed, glancing back towards Iwaizumi who was giving him a calculated stare. Oikawa frowned at him.

“We have no hope if the Great Oikawa can’t even get a kiss,” Hanamaki sighed dramatically, which just caused Iwaizumi to hit him with his towel again. They continued their squabbling, but Oikawa zoned out, delving into his thoughts for a time Iwaizumi had ever discussed kissing someone. Surely, he would have discussed it with him, his best friend. The idea that he hadn’t didn’t sit well with Oikawa, it made him…. _jealous_?

They walked home together after practice, as always, and Oikawa was tempted to bring it up. Should he ask him about the kiss, or would it just annoy Iwaizumi more?

“Mum wanted me to check you’re still up for Christmas eve?” Iwaizumi asked as they walked. He’d insisted on carrying Oikawa’s bag every day since the mugging and although it wasn’t necessary it was very kind of him.

“Of course – it’s a tradition. Plus, my mums working again so I would only be alone anyone.”

“Right, so come round whenever you’re ready then and we’ll go to the fireworks in the evening as well.”

“Sounds perfect” Oikawa smiled, the thought of the kiss leaving his mind.

They left each other at the end of their houses with a smile and a wave and Oikawa was already looking forward to Christmas Eve.

*-*-*

When Christmas Eve came, Oikawa was dressed ready in his kimono. Yes, maybe it was a bit much, but it was a tradition since they were little, they would dress up in traditional dress and celebrate with Iwaizumi’s family. Recently his own mum had brought him a new kimono, an all-black one with white clouds sprinkling the lower half of the top.

“You look so cute” Iwaizumis’ mum chimed as she opened the door to let Oikawa in. Oikawa beamed at her.

“Thank you, Iwaizumi-san, you look lovely as well.” She too was dressed in a kimono, a peach coloured one with subtle flowers embroidered on it. She gestured for him to come in and he did so, removing his shoes and following her into the living room. Iwaizumi’s aunt and grandmother were both round, as normal, and both smiled at him.

“Look how much you’ve grown.” Iwaizumis’ grandma said. Oikawa bowed to them both in greeting.

“Thank you, how are you both keeping?” He took a seat on the floor beside them, gratefully taking the tea he was offered.

“We are very well Toru-kun – Yui tells us you got a scholarship into Tokyo?” Iwaizumis’ aunt smiled at him and Oikawa tried to hide the blush spreading.

“Erm, yes, to play volleyball. I’m very excited.” He said, looking down at his hands. In truth he was excited, it would be amazing to play volleyball at university level. And his mum wouldn’t have to kill herself working to pay his fees. But, what would it be like without Iwaizumi?

“Ah – you’re here already?” Iwaizumi stood in the living room doorway, leaning on the door frame casually. He was wearing a deep red kimono with black trimmings. It fit his form exceedingly well, and Oikawa felt himself gulp looking at him. When had his friend become… _hot_?

“Er, yeah well you know early bird catches the worm,” Oikawa laughed awkwardly, standing to greet his friend. He straightened out his own kimono. “You look good, is that new? It suits you?”

“It was my dad’s” Iwaizumi smiled proudly, looking down at himself.

“It looks really good.” Oikawa smiled at Iwaizumi, happy to see him so content.

……..

They spent the day with Iwaizumi’s family, talking and eating. It was nice, relaxed. It felt like a second home to Oikawa.

After dinner they headed into town together to watch the fireworks. Oikawa and Iwaizumi took off on their own, heading towards the upper hills that surrounded the town to get the best view.

“I’m excited, I love watching the fireworks.” Oikawa chimed, walking as quickly as he could with his injured ribs.

“I know, you act like a kid every year” Iwaizumi laughed, walking slightly behind Oikawa to allow passing people to slip by. “Should we get out of the crowds a bit, we could head behind the park where the trees are shorter?”

“Yeah let’s do that!” Oikawa swerved past a child who was running carelessly his way and zipped down a side street, grabbing Iwaizumi’s arms so they didn’t get separated.

“Why are you running, we’ve got time?” Iwaizumi laughed but didn’t slow down and continued to follow his friend.

“I know, but we need to get the best spot.” Oikawa cheered, not slowing.

They made it to the park on the hill and headed towards the back where there was a slight slope that still looked over the market and shops below. Although there were no lights up here, the bright lights from the town below illuminated their faces. Oikawa took a seat, slumping back and taking a breath.

“Made it,” he smiled at Iwaizumi who sat beside him. Iwaizumi checked his watch.

“We have like fifteen minutes you know.” He muttered but Oikawa just shrugged.

Iwaizumi joined Oikawa sitting on the grass, adjusting his kimono as he did. They sat close together, Iwaizumi shuffling closer when the wind blew, to share their body heat. It was comfortable, quiet. Oikawa wondered when he had become so accustom to Iwaizumi’s presence and how he would manage without it next year. Although he knew they still had time left together, he couldn’t stop the thoughts of them being separated crossing his mind.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi shuffled again, almost nervously. “Why did you tell the others that you’ve never kissed anyone?” Oikawa looked at him, frowning.

“Erm, because I haven’t. I don’t count my mum” he laughed, studying Iwaizumi’s face. “Why did you never tell me you _had_ kissed someone?” Iwaizumi blushed, looking at his feet as he kicked up dirt from the ground.

“Well, I kind of thought you knew.” He didn’t look at Oikawa when he replied but kept his eyes on the ground.

“Why would I have known that?” Oikawa nudged Iwaizumi’s shoulder, trying to get his friend to look at him.

Iwaizumi took a deep breath, lifting his head to stare at the sky. He didn’t speak for a while and Oikawa examined his features, trying to read him. Iwaizumi’s eyes were dark and focused on the clouds above. He looked thoughtful but calm. Oikawa like that expression, it made him look handsome, especially while he was wearing his kimono.

“Ahh,” Iwaizumi laid back on the grass, crossing his arms behind his head. “Do you remember the first time we came here together, to watch the fireworks?” Oikawa followed his friend and laid down, looking up at the sky.

“Yeah, we were what, seven?” he replied and Iwaizumi _mmm’d_ in response.

“It was the first time you’d spend Christmas away from your family. Your dad and mum both had to work so they asked if we could look after you. You cried when they left you.” He glanced at Oikawa out of the side of his eye, smirking at him. Oikawa didn’t acknowledge him with his eyes but smacked him lightly on the stomach.

“It was the first time I’d ever come to watch the fireworks. It was so much fun, I vowed I’d come back every year with you guys after that.”

“Even if we didn’t invite you?” Iwaizumi chuckled.

“Shut it Iwa-chan, your mum said I could come every year, I didn’t need your permission.”

“Well, yeah, that was fun that night. You were so excited, it was cute.”

Oikawa felt his face heat up and shuffled his head to the side to watch Iwaizumi, who was still staring at the sky.

“You were excited too though, at having me come along.” Iwaizumi nodded, taking a deep breath. He shuffled on the grass to face Oikawa.

“I was, it was the first time I’d had a friend come along. It also was when we first started getting really close.”

“We were inseparable after that Iwa-chan.”

“We were, guess I’m to thank for that then.” Oikawa pouted, which only made Iwizumi chuckle. “That was the night I had my first kiss.”

“What?” Oikawa asked, leaning up to rest on his elbow. “When? Where? I was here the whole time?”

“Idiot,” Iwaizumi copied Oikawa’s movements and sat up. “It was with you.”

Oikawa blinked, completely taken aback. He wracked his memory back to that night. Then it clicked.

“Wait, that was your first kiss? You counted that, but that was with me, that doesn’t count. Does it? Like, surely you would count the first time with a girl, no?”

Iwaizumi laid back on the grass, staring back up at the sky. “Guess you didn’t, but it was a kiss for me none the less.”

Oikawa laid back as well, looking up at the sky. He felt….awkward? Was Iwaizumi annoyed that he had never counted that kiss as a _real kiss_? It was just a friendly kiss between kids. Why would he have remembered it or even counted it. It hadn’t meant anything, or maybe it hadn’t to him, but Iwaizumi seemed to think differently.

“Hey, Iwa-chan” he asked.

“Hmmm,” his friend replied.

“Are you, annoy-”

“Shh, they’re starting.” Iwaizumi cut him off. Oikawa stay silent as the fireworks began and he watched them. Occasionally he would glance over to Iwaizumi, who stayed looking up, the fireworks reflecting in his eyes.

*-*-*

_“Iwa-chan look!” Seven-year-old Oikawa shouted, grabbing onto Iwaizumi’s hand and pulling him to the edge of the hill._

_“Stay together boys!” Iwaizumi’s mum called after them as they zig-zagged between people to reach the front of the crowd for the best view._

_“Oikawa-san, don’t pull so hard, I’m coming with you,” Iwaizumi laughed trailing behind his friend._

_They reached the front and found a space to settle down, hands still gripped together._

_“They’re so cool!” Oikawa cheered; eyes glowing as he watched._

_“They’re pretty,” Iwaizumi chimed._

_“You know, my mum told me her and my dad kissed for the first time under the fireworks,” Oikawa said, a sad smile on his face. His parents had been fighting a lot recently. “I wish they were here. Maybe they could kiss again and get on better.”_

_Iwaizumi squeezed Oikawa’s hand tightly, an idea coming to his mind._

_“Hey Oikawa-san,” he muttered staring at the side of his friends’ face, waiting for him to turn._

_It took a few moments, and a few yanks on his arm from Iwaizumi, before Oikawa turned to face him._

_“What is it Iwa-chan?” he asked._

_Iwaizumi smiled, leaning forward and placing a very soft, gentle kiss on Oikawa’s lips. He lingered for a few moments, before standing back face bright red._

_“W-what was that for Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asked, blushing profusely._

_“We-well, I thought maybe we could kiss, for your mum and dad. Maybe things will get better.” He tried to smile at his friend but felt the racing of his heart was too much. Oikawas’ face broke into a wide grin._

_“You are funny Iwa-chan,” Oikawa chimed leaning back over and kissing Iwaizumi very quickly on his lips. “Another one for luck,” he added, grinning from ear to ear before looking back at the sky. Iwaizumi took a deep breath before looking back as well, heart pounding in his chest, but smile also appearing on his face._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for waiting for this chapter, slightly longer then I wanted!  
> These are weird times so I hope everyone reading is safe and well :)  
> Hopefully next chapter won't be too long.
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	6. Revelations

Over winter break Oikawa’s mum had made him promise they would spend the whole day together. She was still working practically every day for a few more weeks, before her shifts were cut down, but promised to get at least one day off so they could spend some time together.

 _“It’s really important we do this before you go to university and leave me forever,”_ she whined down the phone to him one day.

“Mum, you’re being ridiculous, I won’t be leaving you forever. But yes, if you can get a day off, I will spend the whole day with you.” Oikawa rolled his eyes at Iwaizumi, who was sitting on his bed playing a game consol.

_“Okay, good. I will find out today what day and get back to you?”_

“Yep, sounds good.”

He hung up the phone and came to lounge on the bed beside Iwaizumi, picking up the textbook he’d discarded earlier.

“Why are you studying?” Iwaizumi asked accusingly, glancing over his game at his friend. “You never study.”

“Shut up Iwa-chan, I’m studying extra while I’m unable to train so I don’t get behind at university.” Oikawa nudged Iwaizumi with his foot, which Iwaizumi batted away.

“How does that even make sense?”

Oikawa sat back up, looking at Iwaizumi like he was stupid.

“Well, obviously I’m going to catch up with training at a later date and therefore won’t be studying, so if I study now, I won’t fall behind then. Make sense?”

“Nothing you say ever makes sense.” Iwaizumi blinked, shaking his head and throwing a pillow at Oikawa. “Get back to studying.”

Oikawa laid back down, leaning his legs on Iwaizumi. His phone buzzed. He picked it up, looking at the message from his mum. _Saturday okay?_ He typed back a quick _Yes_ before placing the phone back in his pocket.

“We didn’t have plans Saturday, did we?”

“Nope.”

“Okay, cool.” He said, flipping over the page. He was excited about the day with his mum. Since his dad left, Oikawa’s mum had done everything she could to provide for him and his sister. It had been easier when he was younger, he has his sister to be with and spend time with. However, since she’d moved out, he had to admit he was lonely. Of course, he appreciated everything, but he had missed their time all together. It would be nice to have some _them_ time, right before the New Year as well.

*-*-*

On Saturday, they started the day browsing through different shops, much to Oikawa’s displeasure. His mum held various tops up to him, cooing how good they would look every time. Of course, Oikawa knew all the tops would look good on him, everything did, but he didn’t like being his mums dress up doll.

He did help her choose a few clothes for herself, turning into her own personal stylist, which only made her beam. They chose a few little bits for his sister and nephew while they went, the two would be visiting on New Years so they would give them then.

After shopping had exhausted him, they decided to stop and have some food at a small family restaurant. His mum let him choose whatever he wanted from the menu, which he was grateful for. They stuffed themselves silly until they could barely move. His mother had also opted to order some alcohol, which had shocked Oikawa, but was fun none the less. She let him have a small glass, while drinking a lot herself.

They left the restaurant, Oikawa holding his mum’s arm as she stumbled slightly.

“Mum, you said one drink?” he frowned at her.

“I know I know, how embarrassing.” She muttered, leaning heavily on him. “I haven’t drunk in a while.”

“It’s fine, you’re not embarrassing, just funny.” He replied, lifting her up. They had never been out as two adults before, and Oikawa thoroughly enjoying it. “Won’t be long until we can drink together properly.” He chuckled.

“Oh stop, I feel so old!” She laughed, standing herself straight. “I’ve enjoyed today but don’t like both my babies growing up.”

“Me too, we should do it more, maybe with less shopping though. And please remember you are already a Grandma, so surely that should make you feel old.” He smirked, earning a small smack from her as he turned to head home.

They walked down the street at a leisurely pace. It wasn’t too cold for December, so the walk was pleasant, but both were still wrapped in coats and scarves.

“Hey look, isn’t that Hajime-kun?” Oikawa’s ears perked up at his friends name, looking in the direction his mum was pointing. It was in fact Iwaizumi, stepping out of a karaoke place. He was with some of his _other_ volleyball friends and one, whose name Oikawa couldn’t quite remember, had his arm dangling over Iwaizumi’s shoulder. Oikawa felt a sudden sickness build in his stomach _, maybe the chicken was off?_

“Yeah, he’s with some friends from volleyball, best not to bother them.” Oikawa muttered, grabbing his mums’ hand to continue walking in the opposite direction.

“Who’s the boy with his arm around his shoulder?” She asked, not budging from her spot. Oikawa cursed her for being so nosey. He turned to explain but froze when he saw said guy lean in front of Iwaizumi and kiss him full on the lips. It wasn’t a peck, or a friendly kiss. It was a proper, passionate kiss. Oikawa’s whole stomach dropped.

“Ohhh, is that his boyfriend?” She looked over at Oikawa, an excited smile on her face.

“B-boyfriend, what are you talking about? That’s just some guy from another school.” Oikawa replied, pulling his mum harder. He wanted to get out of there before Iwaizumi saw them. _Why the hell had that guy just kissed him and why had Iwaizumi let him?_

“Why would he kiss him if it wasn’t his boyfriend?” His mum asked as she finally began to follow him. Oikawa didn’t reply but continued to steam ahead. “Toru, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, can we just get home and discuss this then?” His heart was racing, and he was sure he was sweating. What had he just witnessed?

When they got home, Oikawa’s mum made them both some tea while Oikawa got changed and went to sit in the living room, his head racing. He had so many questions, so many thoughts, but no idea who had the answers, except possibly Iwaizumi himself.

His mum came in, placing the tray of tea on the table and sat beside him on the sofa.

“Are you okay?” She asked, tilting her head to the side to study her son. “You seem a little taken aback by seeing Hajime-kun?”

“Well, yeah I guess I was.” He helped himself to a cup of tea, staring down at it. His mum’s words were echoing in his ears. _Boyfriend….boyfriend….boyfriend….boyfr….._

Wait – why had his mum said boyfriend? Why hadn’t she been shocked or surprised at least. Instead she’d been … excited.

“Mum, how come you didn’t act surprised when you asked if Iwa-chan had a boyfriend?” He asked, looking over at her.

“Erm,” she looked taken a back. “Well, why would I be? I mean, I guess I did just presume you guys were together, but I was also hoping you would have told me, but then again I guess it just hadn’t come up…”

“Wait - You presumed we were together? Why would you ever presume that?” He asked incredulously, face turning completely red but he tried to laugh it off. His mum smirked at him.

“You guys spend so much time together, of course me and Hana-chan would just presume you were together. I would have thought you would have told me, I hope I raised you so you never felt you had to ‘come out’. You know, you could’ve just said, _we’re dating_ and I would accept it.”

Nothing his mum was saying was making any sense to Oikawa. He was now even more confused then ever. Why would their mums think they were together, they were friends? Surely that was obvious. And come out, his mum thought he was … gay?

“Mum, I’m not gay. You know that right?”

“Erm, well I kind of thought you were.” She smiled nervously. “Sorry, I know we’d never spoke about it but like I said, I thought you and Hajime-kun were together. And since he’s gay I just assumed.” The air between them seemed to be getting thicker with awkwardness.

“Why would you assume Iwa-chan is gay as well? What have been you and Iwaizumi-san been discussing.” He tried to laugh it off, to make the atmosphere seem more relaxed.

“Because Hajime-kun _is_ gay. He came out to Hana-chan, you know that right? You know that Hajime-kun is gay?” Oikawa looked down at his hands, not knowing where to look. How could he tell her no, he had no idea his best friend was gay?

His mum lent over and squeezed his hand, taking his silence as a no. “I’m so sorry, I just assumed you knew. I don’t know why he hasn’t told you, and I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier. I didn’t want to pressure you into telling me anything you didn’t want to. I had no idea you didn’t know.” Oikawa nodded, his chest feeling heavy. If Iwaizumi _was_ gay he had been keeping it from Oikawa, who was suppose to be his best friend. For what reason. Did Iwaizumi think he couldn’t trust him?

“How did you find out?” he finally asked, taking a deep breath again.

“Hana-chan told me. He confessed to her after his dad passed and she confided in me.” She squeezed his hand again. _That long. Iwaizumi had known for that long and hadn’t told him?_

“I can’t believe he never told me.” Oikawa finally said. He coughed, trying to clear his throat and hide the fact he was welling up. His best friend had kept such an important thing from him. Why? Why wouldn’t he confide in him like he did with everything else?

“I’m sure he had a good reason Toru. Hajime must have been worried about what you’d say, what the volleyball team would think. You know he wouldn’t do anything to keep you out of the loop for no reason.” Oikawa nodded, taking a sip of his tea. It scolded his lips, but he continued to drink anyway.

“But, it’s me mum, we tell each other everything. What should I do now, should I talk to him about it?”

“Maybe, you know now.” His mum let out a sign. “I would be gentle with him though. Like I said, he must have had a reason.”

Oikawa nodded, looking down at their hands. “I’m going to go upstairs and rest. Thanks for today mum, it was really lovely.” He gave her the most genuine smile he could manage, placing his tea down on the tray and taking to head to his room.

“Don’t overthink it, Toru, and just talk to him when you see him on New Years, I’m sure he will explain.” Oikawa nodded in response, heading to his room.

Laying on his bed, he couldn’t help the image of Iwaizumi being kissed replaying in his head. It pissed him off. How dare this _guy_ kiss _his_ Iwa-chan. How could anyone kiss him without him knowing about it. He should know everything they happens in Iwaizumi’s life, they were best friends.

But he didn’t even know his friend was gay? What sort of friend was he, if Iwaizumi couldn’t even trust him with this? Would Oikawa judge him? Did he care his friend was gay? In truth Oikawa had never thought it through, never considered it before. But, it didn’t matter, it was just a thing. He was still Iwaizumi.

Nothing would change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly longer update - sorry about that. Finding this lock down hard to find inspiration!   
> Hope everyone is safe and well  
> Look after yourself all!   
> Half way through this story already which feels mad, looking forward to the next few chapters and hopefully will update quicker with the next one!   
> Until then :D


	7. New Years Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up - getting to the end of my University degree and writing my dissertation is consuming me!   
> But - here it is! I think I've probably written Takeru a little young, but I think he is super cute so I hope its okay! 
> 
> Enjoy<3

For New Year’s Day, Oikawa decided to dress casually. He did not want to whip out his yukata for the second time in a week, it seemed a bit much even for his standards. His sister and nephew were round for the day and would be accompanying them to the Shrine. It had been awhile since they’d come to visit so Oikawa was glad to get the time to spend with his nephew.

“Toru-nii-chan, please can I take my coat off?” Takeru moaned, standing at the other end of Oikawa’s front garden. They had been throwing a volleyball back and forth between them, Takeru dressed tightly in a big winter coat, scarf and gloves meaning he missed every throw, struggling under the weight of the clothes to move quick enough. He was giving off a serious pout, arms crossed (as best they could) after another ball dropped through his hands.

“Your mum will killlll me, Take-chan,” Oikawa groaned back, glancing towards the house to see if they had time to sneak it off. He had a lighter coat on so could feel the occasional chill when the wind hit. “Maybe just for a moment.”

“Don’t even think about it.” Oikawa glanced over to Iwaizumi’s house, seeing his friend slouching in his doorway, dressed in a large coat and eyes glinting, amused.

“What do you mean?” Oikawa pouted innocently, wondering if Iwaizumi would notice that his voice came out slightly higher than he had meant it to. Today was the first time he’d seen his friend since he’d witnessed Iwaizumi being kissed. Oh, and found out he was secretly gay and had hidden it from him for over 3 years.

“Leave his coat on, what will Haru-chan say?” Iwaizumi smirked as Oikawa rolled his eyes at Takeru, making his nephew giggle.

“You come play too, Iwa-nii-chan,” Takeru chuckled, picking up the ball and throwing it over the fence to Iwaizumi, who caught it easily.

“Sounds fun.” He threw it back gently towards Oikawa. “No strenuous throwing – you’re still injured remember.”

“Yes mum,” Oikawa chanted, making Takeru giggle again. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes this time, hopping their fence and coming to stand beside Takeru.

“Boys we’re leaving in 5, oh good morning Hajime-kun.” Oikawa’s mum appeared at the door, smiling at them.

“Morning Oikawa-san,” Iwaizumi smiled back, catching the ball Takeru threw to him. “My mum is just sorting her hair.”

Oikawa moved to head over to lean against the wall, feeling his ribs twinge slightly with the throwing he’d been doing. He watched Iwaizumi laugh and play with Takeru. It was cute, the amount of attention Iwaizumi gave his nephew. It made Oikawa feel warm inside.

Over the past couple of days Oikawa had thought non-stop about how to talk to Iwaizumi about him being gay. He’d thought of all the different ways he could bring it up. There was no easy way, for that he was sure, but regardless he knew he needed to. It had been three days since he’d found out and he’d been avoiding his friend, but he didn’t want to anymore. He wanted to feel like they could talk normally, no awkwardness between them, no hidden secrets. Just them, the way they always were.

“Oi, Oikawa you listening?” Iwaizumi shouted snapping Oikawa out of his thoughts.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” He called back, catching the ball his nephew launched at him.

“Take-chan was just saying how he thinks I’m the better volleyball player.” Iwaizumi smirked, wrapping an arm around the small boy, who was giggling uncontrollably.

“Hey, Takeeeee, that’s not fair you know I’m the best,” Oikawa pouted only adding to Takerus’ giggles while Iwaizumi stuck his tongue out at Oikawa

“You all ready?” Oikawa’s mum called as she and his sister came out of the house at the same time as Iwaizumi’s mum, who greeted everyone.

“Ready!” Oikawa and Iwaizumi called together, catching each others gaze as they noticed they’d synced.

“Hold my hands?” Takeru asked both of them, holding out his hands for them to take, which they did.

As they began to walk towards the Shrine, Oikawa felt a calmness take over him. This was normal, them playing into everyone of Takeru’s wishes, giving his sister a break to just be with his mum. The boys walking ahead of the ladies, who had fallen into the usual routine of catching up on the latest dramas. Oikawa and Iwaizumi swung Takeru every few steps, lifting him in the air to the pure joy of his nephew. It was easy, being like this with Iwaizumi and Takeru, so carefree.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi whispered, over Takeru’s head.

“Hm,” Oikawa muttered back, side eyeing his friend.

“You okay? You’ve been quiet the last few days?” Iwaizumi’s eyebrows were furrowed, concern etched into them. Oikawa looked back to where he was walking, stifling a nod.

“Erm, I’m okay, just been thinking is all. Talk later?” Oikawa tried not to make eye contact with Iwaizumi as he spoke, but could see out of his peripherals that Iwaizumi was frowning even more.

“Sure, you thinking is dangerous” he replied, facing away from Oikawa and continuing swinging Takeru as if there had been no interruption.

“Again!” Takeru beamed, pulling on both of their arms. Oikawa smirked, thoughts of later being put to the back of his mind.

“Okay, okay, lets go!” They swung him again, Iwaizumi in perfect sync with Oikawa.

The Shrine was busy, which was expected being New Years. Oikawa made sure to pull Takeru closer to him, whispering a _stay close_ as he did. Iwaizumi let go of Takeru’s hand and moved to stay behind Oikawa in a protective way.

“Let’s go there,” Oikawa called, pointing to the top of the hill were the Shrine stood. The others nodded.

After dealing with a fair bit of hustle and bustle, they reached the front and bent down to pray before the Shrine. Oikawa wished for good fortune in the year ahead, in school and university and his friendships. Takeru was kneeling, eyes closed tight, and Oikawa could hear him muttering quietly to himself, which was far too cute to ignore and completely distracted him from his own praying. He chanced a glance over at Iwaizumi, who had his eyes closed also deep in pray.

“Can we get a blessing, Nii-chan!” Takeru called once his eyes were open and he’d noticed the blessings hanging from the Shrine.

“Of course we can,” Oikawa smiled, getting to his feet. As he stood his ribs twinged and he buckled. Iwaizumi grabbed his arm to steady him.

“Nii-chan!” Takeru called, also putting his small hands on Oikawa’s arms to help hold him up.

“Sorry Take, I’m fine, thank you.” Oikawa let out a pained sigh, standing and catching eyes with Iwaizumi. He mouthed a quick _thank you_ before plastering on his ever-present smile back to Takeru.

“Blessing time,” he breathed, and the boy smiled widely, his worry seemingly forgotten.

 _Good fortune._ Oikawa stared at the blessing, vague. He was hoping for money or luck or something. He leant over Iwaizumi’s shoulder. _Love._

“Let’s get some snacks!” Oikawa shouted, jumping away from Iwaizumi, face red. The memory of his friend being kissed suddenly popped back into his head and Oikawa felt his stomach turn at the thought.

“My treat,” Iwaizumi said, grabbing onto Takeru’s hand and taking the lead. “Mum, we’re heading to the food stands – meet us there?” Both his and Oikawa’s mum gave a quick _Okay_ in reply and continued their conversation with an apparent friend. You seriously couldn’t take them anywhere without them knowing someone.

Oikawa and Takeru found an empty bench while Iwaizumi headed to grab some steamed buns.

“Are you poorly?” Takeru asked, looking up at his uncle through his eyelashes.

“Poorly?” Oikawa asked, leaning down to adjust Takeru’s scarf in a way that reminded him of his mum, so he instantly stopped.

“Your fall.” The boy moved his eyes away from Oikawa and looked at his hand. He was concerned, it melted Oikawa’s heart.

“Hey, Nii-chan is fine, just a small injury which probably hurts from the walking.” It wasn’t a complete lie, although it was probably more the pulling of Takeru that had done it.

Iwaizumi came back and handed them a pork bun each. He shuffled onto the end of the bench, lifting Takeru to perch on his knee. Takeru nuzzled into the older man gratefully, taking small bites of his bun.

“I think he’s sleepy,” Iwaizumi muttered over his head, taking a generous bite of his own bun. Oikawa nodded, watching Takeru’s eyes blinked slowly.

“Hey Iwa-nii-chan,” Takeru muttered, nestling his head further into Iwaizumi’s shoulder as he finished his bun.

“What is it Take-chan?” Iwaizumi asked, wrapping his arm around the boy.

“Will you and Nii-chan still be friends when you go to different schools? Will I still get to see you?” Iwaizumi looked over Takeru’s head to meet Oikawa’s gaze, the latter who held his own breath, also anticipating the answer as much as his nephew.

“Of course, Take-chan. Oikawa and I will be friends forever, which means we’ll be friends forever too,” Iwaizumi squeezed Takeru’s cheek gently as he spoke.

“So basically, we aren’t getting rid of him,” Oikawa joined in, leaning closer to Takeru. He wrapped his arm around the back of Takeru and felt his and Iwaizumi’s hand brush as he did. Oikawa almost pulled away, but stopped himself. Instead, he reached further to hold and squeeze his friends hand reassuringly. Iwaizumi turned his hand so their palms were facing, and returned the squeeze.

By the time their mums and sister got back, which took about another 45 minutes, Takeru was asleep, head resting on Iwaizumi’s lap and legs across Oikawa’s.

“I’ll carry him,” Iwaizumi offered when Oikawa’s sister rolled her eyes at her son.

“Are you sure, he’s heavier then he looks,” She warned which only made Iwaizumi chuckle.

“He’s super strong is our Iwa-chan,” Oikawa cooed, earning an eyeroll from his friend.

“Well, can’t let you carry him can I,” he muttered, glancing down at Oikawa’s stomach, which only made Oikawa blush slightly, embarrassed.

With Oikawa’s help, Iwaizumi managed to get Takeru on his back without waking him and they made the slow stroll home, this time the boys hanging back and the ladies bustled in front.

“So, did you want to chat now?” Iwaizumi asked when they were out of ear shot of the others, voice quiet. “Have I upset you?”

“I’m not upset,” Oikawa replied, which wasn’t a complete lie. He was hurt more than upset, if that was different. He took a moment, trying to find the right words, and his courage, to continue. “Well, just, something I think we should talk about.”

“Erm, okay. What is it?” Iwaizumi stayed calm faced but his voice let off that he was worried. Oikawa knew him well enough. He couldn’t imagine what Iwaizumi thought he was going to say, why he would be worried, but the fact he was, did show Oikawa that he cared.

_Just say it_

He took a deep breath.

“I saw you…” he started, pausing when he wasn’t sure how to continue.

“Saw me what?” Iwaizumi asked impatiently.

“Kissing.” Not exactly what he wanted to say but close enough.

“Er, what?” There was now a shake in his voice.

“Saturday, when I was out with my mum. I saw you kissing another boy, one of those volleyball guys you hang around with.” He let out his breath, flicking his eyes to look at Iwaizumi’s face. His eyes were wide, face pale.

“Oh,” he muttered before letting out a forced, shaky laugh. “Them guys, they are always messing around.”

Okay, so he was going to try and lie about it? Still? That made Oikawa’s face flush, annoyed.

“And,” He continued, trying and failing to keep his voice in check. “My mum then asked if it was your boyfriend, which I thought was weird. I asked her why she thought you had a boyfriend and she said because she knew, from your mum, that you were gay and had come out a few years ago and…” he held off saying, _presumed we were together_.

All his words rushed out of him, but once they were out in the world Oikawa felt a weight lift from his shoulders. He felt lighter all of a sudden. He wanted to smile with relief, but he realised that his friend wasn’t beside him anymore. He stopped too, looking around to see Iwaizumi standing a few paces back, eyes downcast and bottom lip shaking. He looked terrified and instantly Oikawa felt guilt flood over him, all traces of anger gone.

“Erm, I,” Iwaizumi’s breath sounded ragged and Oikawa quickly dashed back toward him.

“Hey, I don’t care.” He said, placing both of his hands on Iwaizumi’s face to make him look at him. Iwaizumi’s eyes were swinging with tears. “Like, you should know that right, gay or not, you’re still my best friend right. I don’t care if you’re gay.”

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi sobbed, letting tears roll down his face. He shifted Takeru on his back, who stirred silently, adjusting his grip. “I never wanted you to find out like this.”

“I know, but hey no crying. Come on. I wish you had told me, I really do, I don’t know why you didn’t, but I know now and it changes nothing between us.” Oikawa didn’t care if the words he spoke were true or not, he just wanted Iwaizumi to believe him and stop looking like that. In truth he was still really hurt but had never thought Iwaizumi would react this way.

“I’m so sorry,” Iwaizumi sniffed, shaking Oikawa’s hands off his face. “Can we go back and talk at mine, not here on the street with Takeru.”

“Yeah, of course, let’s get home and talk.” Oikawa agreed, placing a hand on Iwaizumi’s arm and turning to continue walking.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, Iwaizumi sniffing. Oikawa wished he had said it different, maybe he spoke too harshly. But, he wasn’t the one in the wrong here. Iwaizumi should have told him, years ago. Oikawa didn’t even care that Iwaizumi was gay, he was pretty sure anyway. There was nothing about that that bothered him, it was the secrets.

After dropping Takeru back at Oikawa’s, the two of them left their mums and went back to Iwaizumis house, heading straight for his room. Once inside they peeled off their outer layers, still in silence, before sitting opposite each other on Iwaizumi’s bed. Oikawa felt much more nervous, here in a closed space, compared to how he’d felt when they were outside. There was no where to hide here.

“I should have spoken to you about it before,” Iwaizumi said eventually, voice horse. He’d stopped crying now, seemed calmer but his voice was still heavy.

“You should have,” Oikawa replied honestly. “How long have you known?”

“About 5 years, but I had speculations before.” He kept eye contact with Oikawa, which the latter was grateful for. His eyes were glassy but Oikawa could see how honest they were.

“Why did you never tell me, when you told your mum?” It was what he really wanted to know. Why wasn’t he trusted, when he had been there too when Iwaizumi’s dad had passed. He’d been the one Iwaizumi had leant on then, but why not about that?

Iwaizumi took a deep breath. “I was worried about what you’d think.” There was a hint of shame in his voice.

“You think I’d think different of you because you like guys?” Oikawa was trying not to sound too harsh, but the reality did hurt him.

“Yeah, I thought maybe you wouldn’t want to be close to me, like we are. Or, maybe wouldn’t want to change in the changing room.” Oikawa rolled his eyes, he couldn’t help himself.

“How little do you think of me - I’m not one of them people who think if you like guys you’re suddenly a perv who checks everyone out. Plus, we’ve been close since we were tiny, it changes nothing.” He hadn’t even thought about the changing rooms, but he’d come back to that thought later – now wasn’t the time to dwell on that.

“I know.” Iwaizumi shifted, breaking eye contact for the first time and looking down at his hands. “I just, I kept it secret for so long and it seemed it went on for too long. If I told you, I don’t know, I guess it would feel more real. Plus, we never talk about who we like, so it seems weird to just say it.”

“Hmm,” Oikawa mused for a moment. They hadn’t ever really spoken about people they like. They seemed to speak of everything but. “You’re right, I guess we don’t talk about them things.”

There was a silence between then and neither of them were looking at each other. Oikawa knew what was hanging in the silence, for him anyway.

“So, your boyfriend?” He asked eventually, glancing briefly at his friend.

“He’s not my boyfriend, just a friend. We were mucking around.” Iwaizumi muttered back not looking up.

“But, your other friends, they know you’re gay?” There was a lump in Oikawa’s throat as he said that and he knew how petty that had come out.

“They do, most are too.” Iwaizumi replied and Oikawa felt the pang of jealousy in his gut again. They had something else in common with Iwaizumi that he didn’t. He felt breathless.

“I see,” was all he managed to say.

“I wasn’t hiding it from just you, though. I haven’t told anyone on the team. I thought, once we’d gone to university it might be easier.”

 _Excuses,_ Oikawa thought. _Iwaizumi is just making excuses._

“I’m not just anyone on the team,” he spat, and Iwaizumi’s eyes widened by how harsh it was.

“I know that, idiot.” He spat back, taking a deep breath to calm his defensiveness. “You were the one I was most scared about. I couldn’t lose you, and I couldn’t have a secret from you with the rest of the team knowing, so I said nothing.” He brought his eyes back to Oikawa’s and they were once again brimming with tears.

“You’re the idiot.” Oikawa breathed, bringing his hand up to run through his hair. “So, from now on, will you talk to me about this stuff, like guys you like and stuff.” Iwaizumi raised his eyebrow at him and Oikawa was wishing he hadn’t asked but didn’t know how to make this normal again.

“No, probably not, because we’ve never discussed these things,” Iwaizumi smiled, a normal him smile. “but if I get a boyfriend, I will tell you.”

“Okay, good.” Oikawa forced a smile. The uncomfortable air that had been hanging around them was starting to evaporate.

“Are we okay?” Iwaizumi asked hesitantly.

“Of course we are Iwa-chan,” Oikawa smiled, leaning forward and jumping on the bed beside Iwaizumi. The latter laughed, shifting himself down to lie next to him, both facing the ceiling. Their breaths were heavy and, for a while, filled the silence.

Oikawa shifted, feeling his arm and Iwaizumi’s rub against each others and goosebumps ran up him own.

“Did you know,” he breathed, voice quieted then he’d expected. “our mums thought we were a couple, how funny is that!” He gave what he hoped was his normal laugh.

“They did?” Iwaizumi asked, voice creaking a little while he too fake laughed.

“Yeah, I mean I’m not even gay.” He held his breath, wondering what Iwaizumi would reply to that with.

“I know you aren’t” He sighed, voice sounding … disappointed, only for a second before he laughed again. “What are they like.”

Oikawa shuffled his hand around before he found Iwaizumi’s and for the second time that day held it in his, squeezing it. They were both still facing the ceiling.

“Everything between us if fine, you know that right?” He offered Iwaizumi a reassuring squeeze on his hand which was returned.

“I know we are.” Iwaizumi replied, which was a good thing, but his voice sounded sad.

And Oikawa had no idea why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! XD 
> 
> There may be a slight delay with the next chapter as well, but hopefully only a few week! 
> 
> Thanks all!


	8. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally - an update! Sorry for the wait everyone, but I have finally finished my degree and therefor have more time for writing! Yay!   
> Enjoy

Every week that passed in his final year of high school, Oikawa seemed to find himself in a new predicament. He had never had so many conflicting feelings before, or feelings in general, that he didn’t understand. It was like he had suddenly started developing hormones. And all his feelings pointed back to one person and one person only. Iwaizumi.

After New Years, the boys had fallen back into their usual routine and Oikawa was completely focused on acting as normal as possible with him, which he was struggling with. Not because he was feeling uncomfortable with Iwaizumi being gay, if anything it seemed more normal now than before, but it was more that he couldn’t understand how he _himself_ was feeling about his friend.

All of this had started when they’d been lounging on Iwaizumi’s bed, watching some stupid scary movie. Oikawa wasn’t very fond of scary movies, so when a particularly jumpy scene came on he had jumped and practically attached himself to Iwaizumi’s side, wrapping his arms around his friends shoulders and nestling his head into the others neck.

“You are such a scaredy cat,” Iwaizumi laughed as he snaked his own arms around Oikawas’ waist, pulling him closer.

“Shut up,” Oikawa muttered, closing his eyes and pushing his face further against Iwaizumi’s neck. He let his breath out slowly against his friends’ skin and felt Iwaizumi shiver under him. For some reason this made Oikawa blush and only press his face deeper, taking in the woody scent of Iwaizumi’s aftershave.

“Can you imagine if the team saw our great captain all scared, cuddled up to me?” Iwaizumi teased after a few minutes, never releasing his hold from Oikawa. Every inch of their bodies that were pressed against each other was hot, and Oikawa felt like his skin was extra sensitive. He pulled back, keeping his arms around Iwaizumi’s neck but moving far enough away from his body so he was facing his friend, their faces only inches apart and Oikawa felt himself gulp at their closeness.

“You aren’t allowed to tell anyone,” Oikawa pouted, staring deeply into Iwaizumi’s eyes. Iwaizumi didn’t look away, but instead held Oikawa’s gaze with an intense, deep stare.

“Would I ever?” He asked, a hint of a laughter in his voice. Oikawa smirked, closing the gap between them ever so slightly, and rubbed his nose against Iwaizumi’s.

“Now it’s an Eskimo promise.” He grinned when he pulled back, looking over Iwaizumi’s face. He allowed his eyes to run over Iwaizumi’s high cheek bones, the strong jaw line that connected to his thick neck, before flicking back up to his slanted, sharp eyes, which were looking back at him thoughtfully. Had Iwaizumi always been this attractive, or had Oikawa just been ignoring it?

“What?” Iwaizumi muttered, his voice just above a whispered and Oikawa realised his eyes had dropped and were now lingering for far too long on his friends’ lips. His deep red, full, soft looking lips. Something about them looked … inviting? Like they were tempting Oikawa to feel them with his own. Like he wanted to kiss them…

Wait…

_He wanted to kiss Iwaizumi?_

“Nothing!” Oikawa jumped back, releasing his arms from Iwaizumi’s neck and wiggling out of his grip. He turned himself around, trying to hide his face which he was sure was bright red, and buried himself into the pillow.

“You’re such a precious little scaredy cat” Iwaizumi laughed, leaning over to rest his hand on Oikawa’s head as he resumed the movie. His voiced sounded forced and Oikawa wondered if Iwaizumi had noticed that just then, Oikawa had wanted nothing more than to close the gap between them and feel his lips on his own.

Oikawa hoped beyond anything he hadn’t noticed.

That encounter had been replayed in Oikawa’s head all week and he was in a complete mix of emotions. What would have happened if he had closed the gap, he’d never actually kissed anyone before.

“Mum,” Oikawa muttered as they sat on the sofa one evening watching television. “What does it mean if you think about kissing someone?”

His mum looked at him from the side of her eyes quickly before looking back at the television and answering him. “Well, I mean it could mean that you find them attractive, that maybe you like them, you want to be closer to them. All those kinds of things.”

“Right,” Oikawa sighed, unsatisfied with that answer. Iwaizumi was a boy. Oikawa had never even thought about men being attractive, least wanting to kiss them. He liked girls, or at least he thought he did.

“Did you want to kiss someone?” His mum pried.

“I thought about it, yeah. But I don’t know what it means, I don’t know what it means to like someone.” Oikawa let out a loud sigh and dramatically laid back on the sofa, lifting his legs to lay across his mums’ lap.

“Well, its kind of like you want to be with them all the time. If you’re in a crowded room and you see them you light up. Just being next to them is enough, you don’t have to be talking or anything. Its when you can’t imagine being away from them.” Oikawa watched his mum talk. She had a small smile on her face, as if reminiscing, and it was sweet to watch. What she was actually saying was just confusing him more because Iwaizumi fit in every aspect of what she’d mentioned. Oikawa had spent his whole life being beside the other boy so the thought of them not was absurd. He wanted to be beside his friend every moment, no matter what they were doing. Every time he walked into the classroom or gym, he always unconsciously looked for Iwaizumi.

Oikawa mused, thinking back to when he’d found out they wouldn’t be going to the same university. It had broken him. He feared them being apart because they never had been. He’d always imagined that the two of them would be together for ever, they’d live together at university and play volleyball together. But that wasn’t going to happen. And what if Iwaizumi did eventually get a boyfriend, he’d not want to be around Oikawa as much. They wouldn’t be able to lay like they had last week, just feeling the warmth of each other. Everything would change.

“Do you think you like someone?” His mum finally asked after a while of silence. Oikawa gulped, picturing his friends face in his mind. A life without Iwaizumi was unthinkable.

“Maybe,” was all he could say because he just had no idea.

…….

Friday, the end of the week and Oikawa was tired. He’d spent much of the week not sleeping, finding it hard to eat and just being in a general bad mood. And all of this was Iwaizumi’s fault.

Well, no it technically wasn’t – but it was him that Oikawa was thinking about non-stop. Iwaizumi himself had noticed Oikawa’s bad mood and at first had tried to cheer him up but once he’d realised that wasn’t working he’d taken to being cautious around him and not trying to push his friend unnecessarily.

“Captain, are you okay? You’re throwing is really off today?” Kindaichi called across the court as he raced to reach one of Oikawa’s throws. In truth Oikawa shouldn’t have been throwing at all, he was still a few weeks off being allowed to train, but it was the only thing keeping him from screaming out in frustration. Why were feelings so complicated to understand?

“ _Really off_?” He shouted, glaring daggers at the first year, who flinched. “Well, why don’t you give me 100 laps of the gym and maybe that will make them better?”

Kindaichi opened his mouth as if to argue, noticed the deep glare Oikawa was giving him, closed it and headed off to begin his laps.

“Was that really necessary?” Iwaizumi asked as he came up beside Oikawa, who flinched at the others voice.

“Was his attitude necessary?” Oikawa snapped, turning and gave his friend the same glare. Iwaizumi didn’t flinch though, he didn’t even falter.

“The only person with an attitude is you,” he deadpanned, eyebrows furrowing into a glare of his own. “What is up with you?”

Oikawa flushed, snapping his head away from Iwaizumi and focusing his eyes instead on Kindaichi. “Nothing,” he mumbled in a very unconvincing way.

“You’ve been in a mood all week,” Iwaizumi continued, coming closer to stand beside Oikawa. He leant down and grabbed his hand, squeezing it. “Talk to me.”

Oikawa felt his face heat up and wanted to rip his hand away from Iwaizumis’, but it was the most contact they’d had all week and really he wanted to melt into it. He looked over at his friends face and every inch of it had relaxed and was etched with worry. Worry for him.

“I’m being stupid,” Oikawa stated truthfully, leaning over and resting his head on Iwaizumi’s shoulder. “I just feel confused about a few things and it’s making me not sleep or eat properly and it’s making me moody.”

“You’re not stupid,” Iwaizumi cooed, bringing his hand to rest on Oikawa’s back and rubbing it. “What’s been on your mind, talk to me.” Oikawa wanted to. He wanted to scream that he was so confused because he wanted to be with Iwaizumi always and he’d been thinking about kissing him a lot, at night more then any other time, and he wanted to hold him and never be apart. But he was scared, because what did all this mean? Did it mean he too was gay and liked Iwaizumi? Or that he was just a hormonal, obsessive teen that didn’t want anyone else to have his friend? And, if either of these options were in fact true, what if Iwaizumi didn’t want him back?

“I guess I’m scared,” he started, wondering how to continue. The thought of Iwaizumi rejecting him was even worse than Oikawa living with this confusion. If he said nothing, and learnt to just deal with it, then Iwaizumi would still be beside him. If he told him his feelings, he may not want to even be friends. That couldn’t happen.

“Scared of what Oikawa?” Iwaizumi pressed, pushing Oikawa deeper into his embrace.

“Leaving this place,” Oikawa lied, thinking as fast as he could. “Graduating and heading to university.” It was the only logical thing he could think about that would make sense and actually sound believable.

“Me too,” Iwaizumi admitted and Oikawa whipped his head up to look at his friend. Iwaizumi offered him a warm smile. “Its scary that this is the last few months all together. But, no matter what, we’ll be friends. We’ll talk all the time, meet up on holidays and hey, I’ll come to Tokyo to visit.” Iwaizumi’s face was soft and Oikawa felt so relaxed by him, even if Iwaizumi wasn’t directly talking about what was bothering Oikawa.

“I’m sorry I’ve been grumpy.” Oikawa smiled, pulling away so there was a reasonable gap between them. “Thank you, that’s cheered me up.” It had, even if it was only ever so slightly.

“Well, I have something that may cheer you up even more?” Iwaizumi smirked and Oikawa cocked his eyebrow in question. “At the end of January, we are heading to Tsukihama to celebrate my mums 50th birthday and she wants you to come.”

“Seriously, to Tsukihama” That would be amazing! I haven’t been to the beach in ages. I mean it will be cold, but still, we could have campfires and cook marshmallows.” Oikawa beamed at Iwaizumi, all his bad mood seeming to have disappeared.

“Told you it would cheer you up.” Iwaizumi smirked, watching Oikawa with genuine happiness.

“Thank you,” Oikawa smiled, leaning over and clapping his hand on his friends’ arm.

“To make it up to me, go stop Kindaichi and apologise to him, yeah?” Oikawa rolled his eyes, but waltzed off into the direction Kindaichi was running towards to cut him off. As he went, he could hear Iwaizumi laughing after him.

When out of earshot, Oikawa took a breath. He wouldn’t let his feelings get in the way of their friendship. If he had been pushing back these confusing feelings most of his life, a couple more months would be easy. If that’s what it would take to have a great last few months together, with everyone, before they parted then he could do it. He had to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!   
> So Oikawa finally is confused about his feelings... hopefully their trip will only make things better for him....or worse...
> 
> Wait and see!


	9. I'd do anything for you

Tsukihama was cold, like expected, but the sun shined, and the rain held off, which Oikawa was glad for. Iwaizumi’s mums had a friend who owned a small beach house, which they were staying in. It was the two boys with both their mums, Iwaizumi’s aunt and mums’ best friend. The boys were staying in a room together at the back of the house on the ground floor while all the women were staying on the first floor. From their room they could see the sea, waves crashing against the shore fuelled by the wind.

“Iwa-chan, look,” Oikawa called from the windowsill he was perched on, watching the waves. Iwaizumi, who had been lounging on his bed reading a book, popped it down and strolled over to the window ledge, looking out. The sea was bringing in stacks of seaweed, which was littering the sand, green leaves illuminated against the dull yellow of the sand grains.

“Did that just come now?” Iwaizumi asked, leaning his whole body against Oikawa’s, resting his arm over the other boys head and squinting out to sea. Oikawa turned away from the waves, instead looking up at his friend. He was close enough to see the small bits of stubble that were starting to grow from his chin. Oikawa had never seen it before and instinctively he leant his hand up and gently scratched the skin, feeling the hairs roughly prickle against his finger. Iwaizumi lowered his gaze to stare at his friend. “What are you doing?”

“Iwa-chan is a man,” Oikawa commented, as if that was answer enough to the dark-haired boys questions. Iwaizumi shook his head, knocking Oikawa’s hand away, before moving his own hand to rub across Oikawa’s sharp jawline and up his cheek. Oikawa froze at the contact, watching Iwaizumi’s eyes survey him with such deep concentration as he caressed the mousy haired man.

“You’re still baby smooth,” Iwaizumi muttered, the heat of his hand sending waves through Oikawa’s face and straight to his heart, which had begun to race.

“W-well, I’m more handsome that way,” Oikawa stifled a laugh, bringing his hand up to knock Iwaizumi’s away while he quickly looked back to the ocean, as if that conversation had never happened. Iwaizumi gave a throaty chuckle behind him, taking his banished hand and moving it to rub through Oikawa’s hair. The touch sent shivers down Oikawa’s spine and he felt himself involuntarily lift up into it.

“You are more handsome, then anyone,” Iwaizumi said in a whisper. Oikawa allowed himself to relax against the touch, wondering if Iwaizumi knew he had spoken allowed and if so, whether Oikawa should have heard that at all.

….

At night, the wind died down which stopped the cold air whipping their faces, although it was still necessary for a coat to be worn. They were lucky with the weather; it didn’t rain, and the group were able to have a BBQ under the glow of the moonlight.

“This is so stupid,” Iwaizumi muttered, most likely to himself but Oikawa overheard him. Iwaizumi was in charge of the BBQ, so stood on one side of the large decking that surrounded the house, flipping burgers and sausages while the rest of the group sat under the warm glow of the heater lamps, chatting away while sipping wine. Oikawa had wondered over to Iwaizumi, hiccupping slightly after finishing his second glass of wine, grinning sheepishly to himself.

“What’s stupid, Iwa-chan,” he asked, snaking his arms around Iwaizumi’s shoulders and peering down at the BBQ. “Flip that sausage, its burning.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Iwaizumi scowled, shrugging off his friends arms, which stuck to him like Velcro. “It’s stupid that we are having a BBQ in January. We could be inside under blankets.” His eyebrows were so firmly furrowed Oikawa was sure they would merge into his eyes. He giggled watching them, poking the middle of the brow and caused Iwaizumi to jump. The dark-haired man glared at Oikawa, noticing his rosy cheeks and glassy eyes for the first time.

“Are you drunk?”

Oikawa hiccupped in reply and grinned. “Nope, I only had one.”

“Two,” Hana called across the decking, waving her arms in the air. “Toru had two glasses.” Oikawa rolled his eyes at his mother outing him.

“Fine, two,” he spat, turning back to Iwaizumi and poking him again on his forehead. “But, two _small_ ones.”

“Hajime-kun,” Chizu, Iwaizumi’s mum’s friend, called, sliding off the sofa and skipping over to the boys. “My neighbours son is gay and single, can I introduce you?”

Oikawa, even in his drunken state, felt Iwaizumi’s body tense beneath him. He felt his own stomach drop and his head became a little clearer. Slowly, Oikawa untangled his arms from around his friend and stood back.

“Erm, well I don’t know. I’m going to be moving soon for college, so I don’t know if it would work,” Iwaizumi replied, scratching his neck nervously. Oikawa could tell he didn’t want to and suddenly he felt angry. How dare Chizu try and set Iwaizumi up, how could she think that would ever be okay. Iwaizumi didn’t need or want to be set up. He was fine single. Why was she trying to butt in.

“That’s a shame, he’s super cute and I bet you’d get along.” She replied, wiggling her finger at Iwaizumi playfully.

“Well, I mean I guess his number couldn’t hurt.” Iwaizumi was red and Oikawa felt himself heat up too. No, this could not be happening, Iwaizumi wasn’t allowed to get someone’s number or date someone, he was meant to be just for Oikawa and him alone. Oikawa didn’t mind pushing back any feelings that may or may not exist if Iwaizumi was single, but the thought of him with a boyfriend – that was just too painful.

Chizu cheered, running back across the decking like a school child to immediately tell the others. Oikawa felt Iwaizumi’s gaze fall on him so purposefully avoided looking back. His eyes would give away the panic he was feeling. He was too hazy to try and hide it.

…

Later the same night, head still spinning with the last bits of alcohol that was wearing off, Oikawa lay face up in bed, eyes fixed on a small smudge on the ceiling. His brain was whirling and no matter what position he tried, or how tightly he closed his eyes, he couldn’t get to sleep. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the thought of Iwaizumi with another man, or a combination of both, but nothing he did was working.

“You awake?” Iwaizumi’s voice cut across the silence, catching Oikawa off guard and making him jump. His friends voice was croaky and Oikawa presumed he’d just woken up.

“Yeah, did I wake you?” He whispered, tilting his head to look at Iwaizumi. Their beds were parallel to one another and their faces level. Iwaizumi was already facing Oikawa, sleepy eyes drooping.

“No, just a dream. Why aren’t you asleep?” Oikawa wanted to reply honestly, he wanted to scream _because Iwaizumi was going to leave him for some random neighbour who was probably stupid and then they wouldn’t be best friends anymore because, how could they be if Oikawa wasn’t the most important person in his friends life_. But he didn’t. Not for the fact he had no idea how to face this discussion with his friend, but he also knew he was being selfish.

“I think it’s the alcohol’s effect” he lied instead, dramatically rolling his eyes and causing a small chuckle to leave Iwaizumi’s lips.

“Shouldn’t have drunk,” he smirked, shifting backwards in his bed so he was pressed against the wall and lifting up his duvet giving Oikawa an opening. “Come on, get in.”

Oikawa felt like a puppy, desperate for his owner’s attention. He was so transparently aware how ridiculous he was being, how mean and selfish all of his actions were, but he wanted Iwaizumi, although he was still unsure in what exact way that was.

Without hesitation, Oikawa slipped out of bed and crossed the gap between the beds with one large step. He sat on the bed first before swinging his legs up and tucking them under the blanket. Iwaizumi flung the duvet over him, wiggled his arm underneath Oikawa’s neck and pulled the other man into him, so his face was flush against his shoulder. They’d done this before, cuddled in bed like it was nothing. It wasn’t something they did often, but it also wasn’t unheard of.

“Just try and take deep breaths and copy my breathing,” Iwaizumi sighed in Oikawa’s head, nuzzling his face into it. The contact was thrilling, and Oikawa felt himself lean into Iwaizumi’s neck, taking in his smell. Was this normal? Did they usually do this?

“Will you call him?” Oikawa asked, because he couldn’t help himself. He did and didn’t want to know the answer, but he was too nosey not to ask.

“Who,” Iwaizumi replied, breath deepening as he began to drift back to sleep.

“The neighbour.”

There was no reply for a while and Oikawa began to wonder if the other had fallen asleep, until he felt the shoulder he was rested on lift in a clear shrug.

“If you had a boyfriend, could we do this?” Oikawa asked, words flowing from him more freely then he’d have liked. The alcohols effect surely.

“Probably not,” Iwaizumi replied honestly, his voice unreadable. Oikawa knew that was true, but hearing his friend say it hurt. He ached inside, like his stomach was empty and wanted to claw its way out. Oikawa wanted to stop this; he didn’t want to ask more but his mouth was moving before he could control it.

“Don’t call him.”

It was a demand, a selfish ignorant demand and he knew it, but it was what he wanted.

“Why?” Again, no hint of what Iwaizumi was feeling from his voice. It was just sleepy.

“So we can keep doing this.” Oikawa had never felt so pathetic. He imagined someone saying these things to him and how he would laugh and tell them to mind their own business, how dare they try and tell him what to do. Yet, he said them easily. His eyes were wet and he wasn’t sure why.

“Kay,” Iwaizumi muttered, nuzzling his head back into Oikawa’s hair. A tear fell and Oikawa pushed himself back from Iwaizumi, looking him dead in the face. Iwaizumi’s eyes were hooded and he was obviously doing everything in his power to stay awake.

“Why would you say okay? I’m being a dick?” Oikawa asked, heart racing faster with every passing second.

“You’re always a dick,” Iwaizumi chuckled, bringing his hand to Oikawa’s face to wipe away a stray tear he hadn’t even noticed had fallen. “But its fine, I’d do anything for you.” Oikawa didn’t know how to feel or what to say. He wanted to scream or cry or laugh. How did them words make him feel so happy.

Iwaizumi didn’t wait for a reply, he pulled Oikawa over to him and smashed his face back into his chest. “Now sleep.” And Oikawa did, easily, a grin plastered on his face as he smelt in his friends’ scent that was a reminder of everything he loved. A smell that was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay in uploading - life is weird, for everyone I'm sure. 
> 
> Here is the next chapter - I hope you enjoy.   
> Only 3 left to go... I will be uploading every Friday now so see you next week (unless its ready before XD )


	10. But then there was you

Being drunk had led Oikawa to the realisation that yes, he was in fact love with Iwaizumi. In truth it had been a long time coming, not just since new year’s, but throughout their whole teenage life. Iwaizumi had always been the centre of Oikawa’s existence and he Iwaizumi’s, so it just made sense.

But now, what to do.

Surely, if anyone could give him advice, it was his mum.

“Morning sweetie,” she greeted him when he joined her at the breakfast table. It was late morning and the rest of the group had walked into town. Oikawa, struggling from what he presumed was a hangover, had opted to stay and his mum had chosen to join him.

“Morning,” he yawned, covering his mouth and scratching his already dishevelled hair.

“Feeling better?” She grinned, sliding him a glass of orange juice.

“Somewhat,” he grabbed the drink and took several gulps. She giggled, turning back to the magazine she was reading. Oikawa watched her intently, wondering how to approach the conversation. He knew she’d accept it, for a long time she’d already thought they were together, but it was more that vocalizing it for the first time would make it real. His mum obviously felt his gaze on her because she lifted her head to look at him.

“Something up?” She gave a warm smile and Oikawa sucked in a deep breath.

“Well, I wanted some advice actually.” _Gulp_.

“Of course,” she closed the magazine, placing her hands on top of the table and giving her full attention to her son.

“I think I like Iwa-chan.” He said it in less than a whisper but from the silence that followed he knew his mum had heard. Oikawa met her gaze and saw she had a smile plastered across her face. “What?” He asked, blushing.

“This is so exciting,” she squealed like a teenager and Oikawa was completely taken aback.

“What do you mean, why is it exciting?” He looked away, feeling his face continuing to heat up.

“Well, because you boys are so close, and it would be sweet if you were together. I think his mum will like it too, we’ve always spoke about you two being together.”

“Muuuuum,” Oikawa moaned, moving to bury his head into his arms upon the table. “This isn’t about us being together, this is about me liking him. There’s no way of telling if he’d like me back.”

His mum let out a loud laugh, “In what world would Hajime-kun not like you back. Of course he does, you two are meant for each other.”

Oikawa shifted his eyes and looked at his mum again. There was nothing of a lie in her face. “You think so?” He mumbled into his arms.

“I know so, you have to tell him. Before university for sure.”

Oikawa nodded but said nothing else, burying his head back into his arms. His head was spinning still but his heart felt lighter. If his mum was so sure, then he reckoned he had a shot.

…

The boys took to have a stroll down the beach later that afternoon while the women headed to do some shopping. Oikawa had thought about it over and over again and this was his chance. While they were alone, he could talk to Iwaizumi and try and finally vocalise what was going on in his head.

“Shall we head down to the sand?” Iwaizumi asked, turning back to face Oikawa who was walking behind him. Oikawa gave a muted nod and continued to follow his friend down the path and onto the sand. The wind was calm, and the tide was out. It was peaceful and the whole atmosphere was helping Oikawa manage his thoughts.

They sat a little away from the water, taking to face the waves. Oikawa leaned himself forward, knees bent up and arms wrapped around them. He matched his breathing with the flow of the waves, thinking back to waking up wrapped in Iwaizumi’s arms. If only all days could be like that.

“You got something on your mind.” Iwaizumi stated, side eyeing his friend and taking to coping his position.

“I do,” Oikawa admitted, tilting his head to look over at his friend. Iwaizumi’s face had concern etched all over it and Oikawa knew he couldn’t hide anything from him. Iwaizumi could read him like a book.

“Want to talk about it?” The question was gentle which Oikawa appreciated. There was no force, no pressure. It was all on his terms, the way it always seemed to be with Iwaizumi.

“I would, but it may take me a while. Is that okay?”

Iwaizumi nodded, “take all the time you need.”

Oikawa looked back towards the sea and sucked in a deep breath. _How to begin?_

“Since you told me you were gay,” Oikawa started, taking extra care not to look over at Iwaizumi’s face. “I guess I haven’t been able to stop thinking about our relationship, the way we are and the way we act.”

“It disgusts you?” Iwaizumi muttered, voice cracking as he spoke. Oikawa shot a look over at his friend, shocked, and saw a look of hurt.

“Never,” Oikawa almost shouted, taking his hands to grab Iwaizumi’s. “Nothing about it disgusts me, I’m sorry I didn’t mean that. I wasn’t going down that road at all.”

Iwaizumi’s face relaxed almost instantly as he turned his hands to take Oikawa’s who squeezed them reassuringly. “Sorry, I jumped ahead. I won’t disturb you, go on.”

Oikawa smiled, feeling himself grow with little bits of confidence. He could do this, he had Iwaizumi supporting him.

“Well, I guess I’d never thought the way we act is odd, or different from any typical friends. But when I learnt about you being gay, I started thinking about how we do have an odd relationship.” Oikawa kept his eyes firm on Iwaizumi’s face, who gave a small nod, a visible gulp running down his throat. Oikawa took another moment of silence to think of that next thing to say. _This was it_.

“I don’t want our relationship to change. I want to be the way we are now and the way we’ve always been. But I also want to be selfish. I don’t want you to be in a relationship or date anyone. I want you all to myself.”

Iwaizumi broke into a wide grin and let out a small chuckle. “You are such a brat aren’t you.” Oikawa pouted in response, letting go of his friend’s hands and giving him a nudge.

“Mean Iwa-chan, I’m not a brat I just know what I want.” He laced his arm back around his knees and placed his head on them again, continuing to pout.

“What do you want?” Iwaizumi’s voice was horse and sounded breathy and the sound took Oikawa aback. It vibrated down his spine and he felt his heart pick up beating.

“I want us to be together always.” It was true, that is exactly what he wanted. Whatever form that took, it didn’t matter. As long as it was just them.

“I want that too.”

Oikawa looked back over at his friend, glad to see the smile still spread across his face. Nothing Oikawa was saying was being shunned or turned down. Iwaizumi, in true form, accepted everything Oikawa wanted. No questions, no fuss just pure acceptance.

“I don’t think I’m gay,” Oikawa gulped and Iwaizumi nodded, his smile faltering only slightly. “But, I think I like you more then a friend.”

Any readable expression on Iwaizumi’s face dropped. He looked stunned, taken aback, completely gobsmacked and for a split second Oikawa thought he’d made the wrong decision.

“Are you being serious?” Iwaizumi asked and Oikawa gave a sharp nod.

“I am, I’ve been thinking it recently and I don’t think of any other guys like that, none at all. But, with you. I don’t know.” Oikawa felt self-conscious and looked away from Iwaizumi and down at the sand. He moved his hand to pick it up between his fingers, letting the grains fall loosely between them. The whole time it was silent, and Oikawa prayed Iwaizumi would speak, say something.

“Toru.”

The sound of his first name made Oikawa’s head snap up, his heart was sitting in his throat. Iwaizumi never used his first name.

Iwaizumi himself had a soft expression on his face, eyes almost sparkling. He moved his hand to cup Oikawa’s cheek and shifted his body closer to Oikawa’s. The other froze at the touch, looking deep into his friends eyes. Iwaizumi didn’t stop when their faces were inches apart, rubbed his nose gentle against Oikawa’s, hot breathe against his lips.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa muttered, letting out a low breath, never taking his eyes from his friends.

“I love you.”

Oikawa didn’t have a moment to let them words sink in because Iwaizumi closed the gap between them, pressing his lips against Oikawa’s. The dark-haired boys lips were far softer then Oikawa would have imagined, so soft he felt himself involuntarily pressing back, moving his hand to cup the back of Iwaizumi’s neck to pull him closer. Iwaizumi shifted, running his other hand up Oikawa’s arm and entangling it into his hair, pulling gently. Oikawa let out a soft moan against Iwaizumi’s lip, opening his mouth just enough for Iwaizumi to open his and slip his tongue through the gap. Oikawa let out a slight gasp, feeling the tongue, and taste of Iwaizumi for the first time, running over his own. Every aspect of his body was tingling, and he never wanted this to end. He wanted to feel more of Iwaizumi, more of his mouth, more of his taste.

After a few minutes, Iwaizumi pulled back, sucking in a heavy deep breath that Oikawa could still feel against his face. He opened his eyes, unsure of when he’d closed them, and caught sight of Iwaizumi’s face. He had a blush spread across his cheeks, but a smirk graced his lips and Oikawa couldn’t help but melt at the sight.

“That was unexpected,” Oikawa muttered, releasing a deep breath he’d been holding.

“I have held off doing that so many times, but I couldn’t this time,” Iwaizumi smirked, leaning further back and positioning himself on his elbows. Oikawa followed suit, moving and leaning back so they were lounging next to each other.

“How long?” Oikawa mused, gently nudging him.

“Hmmm, maybe years. I don’t know, its been a while.” Iwaizumi chuckled.

“Why did you never tell me, that you felt that way.” The was an uncontrollable pout in Oikawa’s voice and once again Iwaizumi laughed at him.

“I didn’t think you’re ever feel similarly, so I thought I’d stay quiet and enjoy our friendship.” Oikawa pushed Iwaizumi again muttering a small, _stupid_ , under his breath.

They stayed in silence, Oikawa biting on his lip thinking about the kiss they’d just shared. He’d never kissed anyone before but damn, that had felt good. Why had he waited so long to experience that?

“I can’t believe you might like me,” Iwaizumi finally muttered, the amount of joy he was feeling clear in his voice.

“Don’t say _might_ , I do.” Oikawa sighed. “I just, didn’t know how to word it. Its been really confusing for me.”

“I’m sure it has,” Iwaizumi leant over and traced his hand through Oikawa’s hair. “I’ve waited a long time for this so there’s no rush for anything to move forward. You can take time and talk to me about anything you want okay.”

At them words Oikawa sprung himself off the sand and jumped onto Iwaizumi, forcing the boy onto his back and nuzzled his own face into Iwaizumi’s neck, who just laughed and wrapped his arms around Oikawa, squeezing him tightly.

“I don’t need time, just you.” Oikawa spoke into Iwaizumi’s neck, lips brushing against the skin which sent a shiver through the dark-haired boy.

“Don’t worry, I’m yours. I always have been.” Oikawa felt himself beam into Iwaizumi’s neck and placed a soft, gentle kiss against him.

This had turned out 100% better then he’d ever expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally - they got together <3 It was a bit of a long time coming!   
> I really enjoyed writing this chapter <3 I hope you like it too  
> A couple more chapters left - possibly a little fluffy and cute ones!


	11. You'll get used to this

They’d decided to keep everything to themselves, at first. Oikawa was glad, he wasn’t embarrassed, but he was more trying to get his head around the whole thing. Him and Iwaizumi were together, like an actual couple, and that was something he just couldn’t seem to get a hold of.

Well, technically, neither had asked the other out but Oikawa was just assuming they were. Surely, if Iwaizumi had told him he loved him then he wanted to be his boyfriend. _Boyfriend_. The word itself still hadn’t sunk in.

“Toru, Hajime-kun is here,” Oikawa’s mum called up the stairs and Oikawa was brought back to the moment in hand. He was in the middle of buttoning up his shirt, ready for school, when he had once again got lost in thought over what they were. Since they’d been back from Tsukihama, over a week now, these thoughts were going around and around his head. Not in a way of regret, more in a way of disbelief.

“I’ll be two secs,” Oikawa called back, rushing to finish his buttons and grabbing his bag. He turned the light off before closing his door and bounding down the stairs.

When he reached the bottom he saw Iwaizumi standing chatting to his mum and Oikawa felt as if his heart would explode. How, just standing in the entrance way of his house, did Iwaizumi look so unbelievably beautiful. He was a blessing and Oikawa felt so lucky to be able to call him his.

“You’re getting later every day,” Iwaizumi laughed, offering his hand out to take Oikawa’s bag while the other rushed to put his shoes on.

“Yeah, well looking this good takes time, you wouldn’t understand.” Oikawa glared at him playfully.

“Of course, I mean I guess I just wake up looking this good.” Iwaizumi smirked hitting Oikawa with his own bag, which made him chuckle.

“Boys, you’re going to be late,” Oikawa’s mum called from the kitchen and the boys hurried out, shouting goodbyes as they went.

It was still cold out and Oikawa pulled his coat around him tightly as they walked, leaving his hand closest to Iwaizumi to hang loosely between them. He didn’t have to wait long until Iwaizumi stepped closer to him and brushed the back of his hand over Oikawa’s.

“Sleep okay?” Iwaizumi asked, looking over him from the side of his eye and smirking seeing the blush that the small touch had spread across Oikawa’s face. “You’re adorable.”

“Shut it,” Oikawa muttered, burying his head into his scarf. “I slept fine, you?”

“Yeah, like a baby. Want to stay over this weekend and watch movies?”

Oikawa looked over at his friend, pressing the back of his hand against Iwaizumi’s a little harder.

“Would that be okay?” He asked, voice quiet and unsure.

“Of course, why wouldn’t it?” Iwaizumi asked, taking his little finger and wrapping it around Oikawa’s. With all the fabric of their coats and how close the boys were standing their hands were barely seen, which Oikawa was sure Iwaizumi had done on purpose. He was so considerate.

“Well, I haven’t been round since, you know.” Oikawa gestured his head to Iwaizumi as if that was enough of an answer, so he didn’t need to finish his sentence.

“Since?” Iwaizumi pressed, smirking wide which only made Oikawa blush more.

“Jerk,” he muttered into his scarf. “You know what I mean. Since we’ve been together.” _Been together_ , Oikawa felt his belly do a little flip inside, when had he become so pathetic?

“I won’t jump you if that’s what you mean?” Iwaizumi laughed and Oikawa pulled his hand away from the dark-haired boy, stopping in his tracks and staring at the other.

“Jump me, excuse me that is not what I meant.” Oikawa was sure his face was red. He hadn’t even been thinking about what they could do if they were alone now, staying overnight, it was more like….. well he didn’t know why’d he asked that really.

“You are the cutest,” Iwaizumi leant over and pressed a small kiss on Oikawa’s cheek, causing the latter to turn completely red and splutter, looking around the road they were walking down.

“Iwa-chan, wwwwe’re in public.” Oikawa gulped, whipping his head back and forth.

“No ones around, don’t panic.” Iwaizumi stepped closer to Oikawa, leaning out his hand and grabbing Oikawa’s fully in his. “I wouldn’t do anything to make you uncomfortable, give me credit.”

“I know,” Oikawa squeezed his hand, allowing his self to be dragged further down the street. “Its just still all so new, us being together.” He cocked his eye to see if there was any reaction of Iwaizumi’s face when he said together. There wasn’t. Would Oikawa have to spell it out. “We are together right?” This time Iwaizumi did turn to face him, bringing them both to a stop once again.

“I hope so, I want us to be, but I’m just waiting for you to be ready. There is no rush though, you take your time.” He smiled at Oikawa, a smile that was so pure and genuine that it squeezed at Oikawa’s heart and he just wanted to melt into Iwaizumi.

“I am ready, to be together, I just may be slow at everything. But I want to be together, like I want to be your… you know your,” Oikawa took a deep breath, this was hard.

“Boyfriend?” Iwaizumi smirked, lifting his free hand to poke Oikawa’s cheek teasingly.

“Yes, you’re boyfriend and you mine.” Maybe Oikawa would just have to reside to the fact he would be red forever if this was to continue.

“I’d like that.” Iwaizumi squeezed Oikawa’s hand, pulling the boy over to him and closing the gap between them. He let his lips, cold and dry, sit for the slightest of seconds on Oikawa’s lips and before the latter even registered what had happened he’d moved back. “Come on we’re going to be late.”

Oikawa said nothing but nodded and allowed Iwaizumi to pull him along behind him, only releasing the tight hold around his hand when they were round the corner from their school.

…

It was time. They’d made the decision, they were going to tell their mums. Oikawa knew they would be fine about it, they were fine about everything, but he was still nervous. It was like admitting it out in the open was making it official, which made him nervous but also excited. But he wanted them to know.

“Right, I’m going to start and if you want to cut in just do,” Iwaizumi muttered to Oikawa, standing in the hallway outside of the closed living room door. Both their mums were inside having tea, which was the perfect opportunity for them to spill the beans.

“Yeah that’s fine, I will let you just do the talking.” Oikawa hadn’t mentioned that his mum knew he had feelings for the other boy so would probably be expecting it. He wanted Iwaizumi to really enjoy the moment of telling his mum he had a boyfriend for the very first time.

“Let’s do this,” Iwaizumi gave Oikawa the biggest grin and Oikawa’s heart melted. Seeing how happy Iwaizumi was made him overjoyed.

Iwaizumi took the lead, opening the living room door and heading in, Oikawa close behind him.

“Hey, you two,” Iwaizumi’s mum smiled at them as they entered.

“Hey, can we chat for a minute,” Iwaizumi asked, standing in front of the two women. Oikawa awkwardly stood behind him, avoiding making eye contact with either women. He felt sheepish.

“What’s up?” Oikawa’s mum asked, clearly concerned by her son’s unusual silence.

“Well,” Iwaizumi began, the smile almost visible in his voice. “We have something to tell you.” He leant back to Oikawa and grabbed his hand in his own, giving it an encouraging squeeze.

That was all it took for both their mums to let out an excited scream, jumping to their feet and running over to the boys. Oikawa’s mum wrapped her arms around her son’s shoulders.

“This is great news,” she cheered, squeezing him tight.

“Do you have an idea how long we’ve been waiting for this,” Iwaizumi’s mum ruffled both of their hairs fondly.

“We didn’t even say anything yet,” Oikawa moaned, shrugging his mum off of him.

“You didn’t need to, it was so obvious,” she rolled her eyes, dragging him back over to the sofa. Iwaizumi’s mum copied suit. “So, spill, tell us all, how did it happen, who told who?” Her eyes were beaming, and Oikawa felt himself flush, leaning away from her and giving Iwaizumi a pleading gaze.

“Erm, I don’t think gossiping is necessary,” Iwaizumi gave a stifled laugh showing he was clearly feeling as awkward as Oikawa at that moment.

“Yeah, you guys are like teenagers.” Oikawa joined in, pouting at his mother which only made her tap his nose gently.

“We are just happy okay, you guys are our pride and joys and the fact you make each other so happy is so adorable,” Iwaizumi’s mum shot Oikawa a genuine grin which Oikawa returned, making his stomach flip. They did make each other so happy, like when they were together nothing but them mattered.

“Okay, well now we’ve told you we will be telling other people but in our own time.” Iwaizumi started, looking between both women. “So, no gossiping with your friends, okay?”

“What about Chizu, I will have to tell her, I think she’s getting you that number of her neighbour.”

“Tell her,” Oikawa cut in, almost too quickly. Both their mums looked over at him, a little taken aback, before they burst into laughter.

“Toru-kun is the jealous type I see,” Iwaizumi’s mum giggled, nudging Iwaizumi who was very clearly trying to hold back his own laughter.

“Evidently, like mother like son,” Oikawa’s mum added in, patting Oikawa on the head in a patronising way.

“I’m going upstairs,” Oikawa huffed, getting off the sofa and leaving the room, hearing the continued laughter between the two ladies and Iwaizumi’s quite laughing join in.

When in his room, Oikawa jumped on the bed and buried his head under his pillow. How was he, Mr smooth and cool, being so utterly lame ever since he realised his feelings for Iwaizumi. Everything about him screamed uncool, blushing and awkward. This wasn’t like him. He was normally so controlled, but then he’d never been in love before.

_Love_.

Just the thought of the word made his face heat up and his heart pound. He felt so incredibly lucky that they were both in the same place.

His door creaked open and Oikawa knew it was Iwaizumi without even looking. The other tiptoed over to the bed and sat himself on the edge, running a hand up Oikawa’s back.

“You’ll get used to it you know,” he muttered, voice so quiet and soft Oikawa almost didn’t hear it with the pillow over him.

“I’m embarrassed,” Oikawa muttered, holding back the urge to push his back into Iwaizumi’s hand.

He felt Iwaizumi’s weight shift then felt a hot breath on the back of his neck before a small kissed was placed on the exposed skin. Goosebumps ran down him. “It won’t always be embarrassing, I promise.” He kissed him again before shifting his weight back into his original position.

Oikawa turned over and lifted his pillow slowly down so his eyes were visible, but he was still covering his mouth and nose. He saw Iwaizumi was sitting over him, smiling the sweetest smile he’d ever seen. “You’re so cool about all this,” he muttered.

“I’ve had time to get used to it,” he replied, leaning back and kissing Oikawa’s forehead.

Iwaizumi began to pull away, but Oikawa quickly pushed the pillow off of his mouth and leant up to capture Iwaizumi’s lips with his own. He ran his hand behind Iwaizumi’s head and wrapped his fingers in his hair, holding him in place.

They kissed for a moment, neither deepening it, before both pulled away.

“I love you,” Oikawa muttered, rubbing his nose against Iwaizumi’s, who grinned widely.

“I love you too.” Iwaizumi replied, leaning back down and this time deepening the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me with this one! Like I forewarned some fluff in this chapter. 
> 
> One chapter to go - I can't believe it! 
> 
> Thanks so much for all the support :D


	12. What will never change

It was here, the day Oikawa had been anticipating for the last 3 months. Since starting university and training with his new volleyball team, he had been eagerly awaiting the day when he would finally get to play Iwaizumi in a game.

“Stop looking out the window,” Kuroo moaned, grabbing Oikawa by the back of the shirt and pulling him away from the window he’d had his face pressed against.

“Leave him, he’s excited,” Bokuto cooed. Oikawa gave them both a glare, shrugging Kuroo off and heading to the other side of the room to take a seat on the bench. Somehow, he had become friends with the two former captains. All three had received volleyball scholarships and, very surprisingly to Oikawa, got along exceptionally well.

“Cause of the _boyfriend_ ,” Kuroo groaned, sitting opposite Oikawa across the room and sending him a catlike smile.

“Yes, well sorry I have a boyfriend who I’m excited about seeing,” Oikawa stuck his tongue out to Kuroo, who returned it.

“It’s fine Oikawa, I’m excited to meet him to, or re-meet I’m not sure.” Bokuto clapped Oikawa on the back, harder than he’d meant and Oikawa had to steady himself not to fall forward onto the floor in front.

“There you three are,” all three boys turned and looked over at Ushijima who had just entered the spare classroom they’d been lurking in. “Captain wants us all to gather in the gym, the other team will be here soon.”

“Did I tell you my boyfriend was on the other team, Ushiwaka?” Oikawa smirked, standing up and grabbing his bag from the floor. Kuroo rolled his eyes while Bokuto held back a laugh.

“Multiple times, I’ve warned the captain so that if you are going easy on them, he will take you off.” Oikawa’s mouth nearly dropped to the floor while Kuroo didn’t even try to withhold his laughter.

“Are you serious? I’m bragging to make you jealous not because I’m going to cheat, you arse!”

Ushijima just shrugged and left the room. “Gym!” He called just as the door shut behind him.

“Can you believe that guy?” Oikawa pouted, turning to his two friends who both offered a nod.

“That’s what happens when you make a big deal of it,” Kuroo’s smirk was still ever present and only made Oikawa’s pout worsen.

They left the room and headed to the gym, bags all in hand. It was a Saturday, so their university was relatively quiet although students still flitted around using the open facilities. In the first three months of university Oikawa had certainly settled in here. He lived in a small flat close to the campus and spend a lot of his free time with the volleyball team. It was mostly like high school, they were just all older and had to actually look after themselves. And, of course Iwaizumi wasn’t there. It sucked, that just as they were settling into their new found relationship they were separated, but Oikawa had made sure to message him daily and had even managed to visit him a few times. It was hard for sure, but they both knew it wouldn’t be permanent.

“Great of you to join us,” the Captain, a fourth-year student, called to them as they entered.

“Sorry,” Bokuto muttered awkwardly as they dropped their bags with the others and joined the team.

The Captain went over the run of the day, what they would be doing during warm up and the starting team. Despite being first years, Oikawa and Bokuto were being started. They’d been practicing together a lot in training and the Captain wanted to put some of the moves they’d been working on into use. It was exciting and although Oikawa knew Iwaizumi probably wouldn’t be starting, the other had messaged him so already, he hoped they’d still be able to go face to face against each other at some point during the day.

“Okay, so the other team should be here any minute. We need to change, and start warm up so we can impress them straight off the bat. Any questions?”

“No Captain,” came as a chorus and the group was dismissed to head to the changing room. Oikawa sighed and walked over to his bag, lifting it and shrugging it over his shoulder. The sound of tires screeching to a halt echoed through the gym and Oikawa’s head snapped in the direction of the open doors where it had travelled through.

“Oh damn, that must be the other team now, everyone go get changed quickly.” The Captain headed to the open doors, their manager walking in step beside him. Oikawa still stood frozen, looking longingly towards the door. How mad would the Captain be if he headed off there instead of the changing rooms?

“He’s not going anywhere; you can see him after we’ve gotten changed.” Kuroo pulled on Oikawa’s bag, dragging him away from the gym and towards the changing rooms. It was true, he guessed, but that didn’t stop the nervous anticipation that was building up in his stomach. He just wanted to see him.

In the record time, Oikawa was changed and leaving the changing room, heading back into the corridor outside and off towards the gym. The opposite team would be changing in the rooms the other side of the gym so he would have to wait until they were warming up to see his boyfriend. The gym was empty except the managers and coaches. Oikawa headed over to them to leave his bag before taking to running laps around the court. It took 10 minutes before any of his own teammates joined him and a further 5 before the other team started coming into the room. Oikawa watched the door with bated breath as people walked in, waiting to see the familiar face and stature of his boyfriend.

And then there he was. Black hair tussled about messily, adjusting his shorts while chatting to another boy. Oikawa tried not to feel jealous watching his boyfriend smile at another guy, he was always petty about these things, and instead slowly made his way over to him. Iwaizumi looked away from the guy to scan the room, presumably for Oikawa, and caught eyes with the other heading his way.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi beamed at Oikawa and stopped walking. Oikawa caught up with him, smiling back a wide grin.

“What took you so long,” he pouted causing Iwaizumi to laugh and nudge him playfully.

“No sulking, I haven’t seen you in weeks. There was traffic.” Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa’s hand, giving a quick look around the room, before dragging him out the door he’d come from and into the empty corridor. He turned to face Oikawa once they were alone. “I’ve missed you.” 

“I’ve missed you,” Oikawa mumbled, flinging his arms around Iwaizumi’s neck and squeezing him in a tight hug. He had waited long enough; it had taken all his will power not to throw himself over the other in the middle of the gym.

“I’m so excited to see you play with the new team,” Iwaizumi spoke into Oikawa’s hair, his own arms tightly wrapped around Oikawa’s waist.

“I’m gonna get jealous watching someone else set to you,” Oikawa admitted, pushing his face deeper into Iwaizumi’s neck, where he could feel the chuckles of laughter vibrating through him.

“Well, no matter who sets to me, you’re the only one who does this to me.” Iwaizumi pulled away, capturing Oikawa’s hand in his own and bringing it to his chest where Oikawa could feel the thumping of his increased heartbeat.

“So cheesy,” Oikawa blushed, staring at his own hand over Iwaizumi’s chest. He knew his own heart was racing just as fast.

“I can’t help it when your so cute,” Iwaizumi smirked, taking his free hand to lift Oikawa’s chin so they were facing each other. Oikawa took a deep breath, flicking his eyes to Iwaizumi’s lips, who didn’t need any more of an invitation before pressing his own against his boyfriends. Oikawa let out a small moan and moved his hands up Iwaizumi’s body and digging them into his hair, opening his mouth and pushing his tongue against Iwaizumi’s lips instantly, deepening the kiss in an almost desperate way. Iwaizumi didn’t protest but just chuckled, holding Oikawa tightly against him. It had, after all, been a long time since they’d been together.

“Erm,” came a cough and both boys jumped away from each other instantly, looking over to where the noise had come from. Bokuto and Kuroo were poking their heads around the door to the gym, Bokuto blushing slightly while Kuroo had the biggest grin on his face.

“They are calling everyone to gather,” Kuroo smirked, watching both Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s face turn red.

“You must be the boyfriend,” Bokuto muttered, smiling at Iwaizumi in an attempt to be welcoming and break the awkward tension that their interruption had caused.

“Let’s hope so, or Oikawa’s a cheat,” Kuroo replied, sending a wave in Iwaizumi’s direction before disappearing, pulling Bokuto along with him.

“I guess we should get back,” Iwaizumi gave a small chuckle, leaning over and grabbing Oikawa’s hand, who was still completely red.

“Er, yeah, I guess so.” Oikawa took a deep breath, looking back towards the door. “You know I won’t be going easy on you in there, just because you’re my boyfriend.” He looked back at Iwaizumi, a playful smirk now gracing his lips.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Iwaizumi grinned back, leaning over to gently kiss Oikawa’s cheek before pulling away and starting to walk over to the door, hand still around Oikawa’s.

He was excited, excited to play Iwaizumi as different teams. He guessed, in the end, going to different universities so far hadn’t been terrible. No matter where they were, Iwaizumi was always going to be Oikawa’s and him Iwaizumi’s and really that was all that mattered. The love he felt for his childhood friend hadn’t faded or changed with the weeks they’d been apart, if anything it had grown, and Oikawa was confident that the years that would follow would be hard of course, but manageable. Because he had Iwaizumi and that fact would never change.

*Fin*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this fic and reaching the end! I have really enjoyed writing this - it was my first Haikyuu fic and first fanfic in a real long time so I found it really fun and am glad to be writing again! 
> 
> Thanks again <3


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